Baby Masala

Lieber Award - It Gets Better

2012-01-26T09:37:00.005-07:00

So, I'm not 100% positive, but I think that I won the Lieber award the other day, from my friends at The Journey Begins. As Kerrie rightly notes, my blog hasn't really been about surrogacy or India in quite a while. Our little bouncing bundle is now a walking, talking, exploring, willful, fun, wiggly little boy. I remember the whole drama of surrogacy -- wondering how you're going to have a baby, then anxiously counting weeks of pregancy, worrying about the health of your surrogate and baby(ies). But it has become a softer memory, mellowed by time (like they say about childbirth?) And so, for those of you who are still in the thick of it, I want to tell you: it gets better. You may start off your journey being infertile, or not in posession of all the right girl-parts for baby-making, or having gotten started too late, but after all is said and done, a nurse will place a baby in your hands and suddenly, you're just a parent. All the trauma you experienced won't go away, but they will be replaced by the same responsibility and the same love every parent feels. So hang in there, enjoy your last moments of freedom, and, once your baby arrives, savor -- and document --every moment.

It is my understanding that this prestigious award comes with a responsibility -- to pass it along. For that, I need to give a big shout-out to The Mikes. Their blog is no longer about surrogacy either; they had their beautiful Rose and Eva just a few months before Micah was born, and they are truly one of the "pioneer families" in Indiansurrogacystan. They are my homeboys from Boston, are wicked funny, and, at the time that the surrogacy world was inhabited mostly by women, they shared a viewpoint that those of us with ovaries didn't have. Most importantly, when the path was being navigated for how to get a baby home from India, they provided crucial information and advice, complete with checklists, for those of us nerviously awaiting our big moment. We were lucky to get to visit with them a little when our children were all one and change; I felt like I was meeting Indian surrogacy royalty!

I'll leave you with a few photos that document how far our journey has taken us, and how some things don't change:

Out of the mouths of babes

2012-01-18T16:00:00.000-07:00

Maybe it is because of his two recent encounters with the medical system, but when I asked Micah to show me his leg because he seemed to be dragging it in pain, he told me, "You're not a doctor." And again, when I told him I was going to give him some cough syrup, I got the same "You're not a doctor!" Gave me a good opportunity to remind him that only mommy, daddy, or doctors can give him medicine, that he shouldn't try to help himself.

My other recent favorite quote was when I recently told him, "Micah, did you know that your name, in Hebrew, means "Who is like God?" and he dutifully repeated back, "My name Hebrew "Who likes Hannukah."

These are such precious months. Suddenly we can really see how we've trained up a new little member of our family to be just like us, joining us for cups of herbal tea, clinking mugs and saying "L'chayim!" He plays "baby stegasaurus" with daddy, butting heads and riding on daddy's back, loves to grab mommy's hand and take her to a comfy chair to read. Favorite books include the Micah Being Born book, where he can name Rasheshree, his surrogate, and tries to understand where he's hiding under her sari, and where we show him the picture of the woman who gave us the teeny tiny egg that can grow into a baby. He loves watching Mommy and Daddy cooking through the pass-through window in the kitchen, though Mommy is terrified that he'll fall onto a hot burner or pan sometime. And he loves, loves, loves cuddling during the half-hour long video he's allowed before bedtime, Classical Baby -- each of us has to have our own "na-na" on our lap.
We feel so lucky to have been blessed with such a smart, sweet, little boy.

Umbilicus Be Gone....

2012-01-09T21:44:00.005-07:00

As you may be able to tell from the photo in my previous post, Micah was born with a very impressive outie belly button and a very minor umbilical hernia (small hole where the belly didn't totally close up when he was forming in utero.) Although it might never have caused a problem for him, it had the potential to, and so last week, we took the opportunity (and the blessing of very good health insurance) to have it fixed, and to have the extra umbilical cord "tucked in" at the same time. It was very scary bringing a toddler for what was basically elective surgery -- I hardly slept the night before -- but Micah was an amazing patient.
We thought we'd carry him out to the car while he was still asleep at 6 am, but he woke up and, when we told him we were going to see a doctor, he insisted on getting dressed. We checked into the hospital two hours ahead of surgery, as they requested, and then had to wait in a nice play area until the doctors arrived. Micah didn't know what was going on, but wasn't at all thrown off by the deviation from our normal routine, and played happily (although he kept trying to take off his mini hospital gown. What I was most afraid of was that he'd ask to eat or drink and we'd have to tell him he couldn't, but he never even mentioned it. He did get a bit restless at about 2 hours and asked to go home, but some nurses distracted him a little. Daddy went with him to the anesthesia room, and he was quickly put under before he could worry.
Barely half an hour later, the doctor came to tell us that the surgery was over and Micah was sleeping. He woke up enough to drink some juice and talk enough for us to realize that he was OK, and so we were able to take him home, where he slept for several more hours. He did seem to be in some pain that first day, so received regular doses of tylonol, but was mostly back to normal the following day. He's commented several times "my belly's messy" -- he is a bit swollen and the wound is covered with a shiny superglue, so I've tried to keep his diaper away from it. He couldn't take a bath for 5 days but that is the only restriction on his activities.
It is very strange to see his new innie, and at times I do miss his unique, perky little outie, but I think he'll be happier as an adult that we had it done. He seems so much more mature with each passing day, and the removal of the last little bit of umbilical cord seems to have cemented his move from baby/toddler to "big boy." This morning, after telling me that I needed "your purse and your wallet and your keys and your phone" to take him to daycare, I left the room for a minute and when I returned, I found that he had emptied some of the stray receipts and undeposited checks from my wallet and was trying to tuck them into his own (tiny) pockets, so I can see a foreshadowing of the teen he will become all too soon!

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T21:08:00.004-07:00

Our beautiful New Year's baby....only he keeps insisting "I'm a Big boy!"
Lots of menorahs for the 5th night of Hannukah (also known this year as Christmas Day)

And on the 8th night of hannukah.... we went to the Urgent Care Center....

Has it really been only a month since I last posted? Seems so much has happened since our busy Thanksgiving week celebration. Micah's vocabulary and understanding of the world around him continues to grow exponentially, and with it his creativity and thinking skills. One night in early December, as we were reading him stories before bed, Adam lay down on Micah's bed and used one of his stuffed animals for a pillow, and we were surprised when Micah indignantly protested, "That's my doggy, daddy, get your own doggy!" That was really the first time he asserted himself fully armed with the English language. Our favorite Micah-ism right now is that he describes anything that is big using the adjective "big daddy", such as calling a dinner fork a "big big big daddy fork."

In general, though, he continues to be an agreeable, easy-going little guy, mostly happy to go along with whatever his "bigs" suggest. I say mostly because, well, he is a two-and-a-half year old, and we definitely have times where he becomes suddently emotional or defiant. I'm finding this stage of childhood much more physically demanding than the baby stage, and wishing that I were in better condition -- I can see a point not too long from now when he'll be able to run faster than me, and I am scared! He's just about 3 feet tall now, and weighs about 27 lbs -- heavy enough that it is getting harder for me to carry him for long stretches. He tells us dozens of times a day that he's a big boy, but still loves his "beechie" (pacifier) and "na-na" (blanket) when he's sad, and a kiss still makes every boo-boo feel better. We're not anywhere close to ready for potty training, and everyone assures me that boys are usually not ready until closer to age 3.

Hannukah and the week stay-cation we had over the Christmas/New Years holidays were fun and low-key. Micah really enjoyed helping to put candles in the menorah and the ritual of lighting them; he liked getting presents but isn't yet that impressed by getting them. His very favorite was a lamp with an African savannah that revolves around; we actually just peeked in at him after bedtime tonight to find that he had turned it on after we left the room and fallen asleep on the floor clutching a plastic giraffe that we had earlier seen him "showing" the other giraffes on the lamp.

Our biggest Hannukah adventure was on the 8th night -- I had scraped the old dibbles of wax off the menorahs to be able to put in the new set of candles, and as I was taking some photos of Micah with the candles lit, I noticed him sticking one of the old dribbles up his nose. My attempts at getting the wax out resulted in a hysterical child, and by the time Adam tried the wax was no longer visible. Knowing that it was likely the wax had gotten out but not sure, we reluctantly cancelled our babysitter and bundled up to go to a late-night urgent care center. Micah was adorable and charming the whole time we were there, no sign of distress at all. After spending half an hour filling out forms and answering questions with the staff, we were put in a waiting room to see a doctor. Micah gave everyone a chuckle when he escaped from the waiting room and ran into the clinical area, loudly asking "Where's my doctor?" Finally, the doctor and her assistant came in, and the doctor examined his nose with her light for several minutes with no sign of the wax. The nurse practitioner then rather timidly asked, "what color did you say the wax was?" When we told her red, she suggested that we look at Micah's sleeve, where, sure enough, a little drop of red wax was glued with snot. So we happily went home, glad that our insurance and not we were footing the bill, and happy that we could still catch a later movie.

Other events during our holiday included attempts at sledding (Micah did not much enjoy it), and an attempted stay at a YMCA camp in the mountains (we cane home early -- turns out that it isn't much fun to stay in a hotel room with a 2 year old during weather so cold that you can't go outside.)
Micah loves to sing and listen to music. On the first night of Hanukkah, we attended a choral concert (not a kid-oriented event, unfortunately) and during a quiet portion of the music Micah happened to notice the percussionist's foot-bells and loudly started singing "Jingle Bells" (I'm told this isn't a Christmas song per se, but it sure sounds like one to my ears!) We took him to see the lights at our Botanic gardens; seatd in a backpack that Adam work, he sang non-stop for an hour and a half. Most recently, he's been singing a song that he must have learned in school, "my daddy comes back, he always comes back, he never forgets me." Very lovely that he can re-assure himself like this, and I don't think it is a coincidence that his minor phase of not liking to be left with a babysitter seems to have passed too.

Our New Year's Eve was quiet but nice -- an early-evening playdate with a neighbor, a good dinner at home, bedtime for Micah, and then Adam and I watched The Bridesmaids while enjoying homemade profiteroles. We actually stayed awake until 12:01 in our own time zone; a first in at least 3 years.

I have been loving all the happy news of new babies and babies on the way in India, and love all the pictures of growing children around the world who share the same unusual birth story. I wish everyone who is still waiting for their family to be complete good luck and baby dust in the new year, and health and happiness to all of the Indian surrogacy community!

A Lot to Be Thankful For - 28 months

2011-11-29T22:17:00.005-07:00

Thanksgiving has always been a big holiday in my family. My parents got married on Thanksgiving weekend, and my mother's parents also got married just a bit before Thanksgiving in 1939, which apparently was The Year With Two Thanksgivings, when Roosevelt moved Thanksgiving from the last Thursday of the month to the 4th to stimulate the economy, but some states continued with the traditional date.

It is funny to me that, in 2008 when we were actually in India over Thanksgiving, we didn't even really think about missing our big holiday -- our heads were too swamped with thinking about the huge decision we were making, and worrying about all the potential implications. After three of the most stressful days of our lives, we had left Mumbai to fly to a yoga center in Goa for some theoretical relaxation, but who could relax? Surrogacy in India was a big unknown; we were one of the first western clients of our clinic, and there was a lot of anxiety on our part about whether we were ready to be parents. In hindsight, so laughable, because we can't imagine life without our little Micah, but at the time, it required a lot of deliberation, up until the moment when it was too late to change our minds.

Of course, that Thanksgiving will be remembered around the world as "India's 9/11," the day of the Mumbai terrorist attack. Oblivious and off the grid, we didn't learn of the attacks until Friday, after both of our families spent their entire holiday worrying about us. Even after we came back, we didn't really get what all the fuss had been about, because we knew we were safely hundreds of miles from Mumbai.

Still, we came back from Mumbai with the greatest memento of all, and especially at Thanksgiving, we remember all that we have to be grateful for. This year, our family gatherings extended for an entire week as we celebrated my parents' golden anniversary and stored up as much time as we could with my sisters, one of whom is moving with her family half-way around the world for a few years. What a busy week we had!! A pizza party/family talent show on Monday, hosted my visiting sister's family for dinner on Tuesday, went out to a fancy restaurant with 5 children under the age of 8 on Wednesday, hosted Thanksgiving for 21 people on Thursday, family photos and an anniversary party for my parents on Friday, and a cousin's bar mitzvah on Sat! And on Sunday, we collapsed! Micah was a trouper throughout the week, and just loved being treated like a "big boy" with his 4 older cousins,. They were so cute together, especially how they all sat around Micah's train table for Thanksgiving dinner while the grown-ups dined in relative calm in a separate room. I miss having a baby, but at times like this, it is bliss having a (slightly) more self-sufficient little boy.

Micah's verbal skills seemed to really explode by spending the week with his cousins, and he's so excited that he can formulate questions better and explain what's on his mind. "Was dat" is still his favorite question, and now when he describes something, he can often use two adjectives and noun, and create more complicated sentences. My favorite recently was when he wheeled his play shopping cart in to show me, announcing: "look, my na-na (his favorite blanket) cover up my paci." All his favorite things in one sentence! My least favorite element of verbalization came during a quick trip to Target, where he was confused by a (female) employee's appearance and loudly shoulded "Was dat monkey-boy?" Oooh, the first of many times to have to cringe at your child's candid observations (we made sure to go up and introduce ourselves to the woman.)

He loves playing his "air guitar" (a stringless toy guitar) and will command us to "play band" with him, dragging other toy instruments in to wherever we're sitting and motioning to demonstrate how to play them. He loves ordering us where to sit, and whether we're allowed to sing or not. His energy is amazing, and he'll jump up and down for 30 minutes at a time while playing his air guitar and performing his special versions of The Wheels on the Bus, Twinkle Twinkle, 5 Little Ducks, and a few songs we don't recognize. Youtube is still his very special addiction; we don't ever let him watch TV but after only one lapse over the weekend, he walked into the living room the next day and demanded "watch TV!" Bad boob tube!

He still loves playing "catch me if you can" at bedtime, and getting him to lie down and go to sleep has become a ordeal of closing the door and holding it shut until we think he's asleep, followed by 30 minutes of him leaving his room only to be sternly shoo'd back in. It is hard because he's usually very proud of himself and cheerful when he re-appears from his bedroom, and I usually have to be the meanie who marches him back to bed.

So much to be thankful for!

Happy Halloween.... Dat's Funny!

2011-10-31T14:59:00.003-06:00

This month, Micah's favorite expression is "Dat's Funny!", often used after being turned upside down, seeing a funny picture in a book, or doing something that we think isn't quite so funny, like spilling an entire bowl of soup on our glass table or running around the house naked to avoid having his nose wiped. We love seeing Micah's emerging sense of humor and fun, although it has gotten a lot more physically demanding to keep up with him! Sometimes it takes two of us -- and all of our patience plus some we didn't know we had -- to get him dressed in the morning. And there have been some...... moments, let's say. A few days ago, Adam and I were catching up at the end of the day while Micah occupied himself, and we soon discovered that his occupation had been drawing on the walls, with permanent marker! His "Dat's funny" quickly turned into repeating to himself "Daddy mad. Only wite paper" while we struggled between mad and the desire to laugh. We've left the walls marked up for a little while, so we can reiterate "only wite paper."
His newfound independence has also happened at bedtime, too.... our formerly easy bedtime turned into a supernanny-style showdown for a few days, with a few dozen trips out of bed, being carried back each time with the words "Its bedtime, goodnight." Finally, Adam discovered an easier option: if we just hold the door shut for a minute or two, Micah will give up trying to get out and go to sleep. Unfortunately, we can't do this trick in the middle of the night, when we've had a barefoot little boy show up in our bedroom at 2 or 3 am. Because no one gets much sleep if he stays in our bed, one of us will have to carry him back to his room each time, but he pops back in by 5:30 or 6. What a good little alarm clock!
We had plenty of halloween fun this weekend, and a little bit more planned for tonight. I asked Micah what he wanted to be for Halloween thinking he had absolutely no clue what Halloween is or entailed, but I got him the giraffe (his favorite animal) he requested. Then I was surprised each time some well-meaning adult asked him what he was going to be, and he confidently replied "elmo." Oh well, too late to send back the giraffe costume, and it did get a lot of compliments!

Gears and Guitars

2011-10-04T22:00:00.000-06:00

Lucky for Micah, our next-door-neighbor not only meticulously polishes the inside and outside of his mint-condition 1965 Mustang frequently, but he also indulges Micah by letting him sit in the "wace caw." Micah can hear the engine revving from inside our house and stops whatever activity he's engaged in (or not, see "dinnertime" below) to go take a look. He still loves to identify all forms of transportation, and any car ride with Micah is a running commentary of what types of trucks, busses, and other vehicles he sees out of the window. Even from inside the house, he can identify the different sounds of helicopters, airplans, motorcycles, and lawn mowers, and if he hears an ambulance or fire truck, he wants to go see it. He's also loving his brand new electric toothbrush, and reminds us every day when it is time for his "noisebrush" (come to think of it, it is used more for making noise than brushing teeth at this stage, so perhaps it is a better name!)

Micah looooooves music, so we recently bought him this cheapo plastic guitar, which has become his prize possession despite the fact that it quickly lost two strings. I bought him a much sturdier little harp that has actual metal strings and makes actual pleasing sounds, but so far, he's less interested in that. Whenever we go somewhere with live music, Micah is happy to just sit and watch the instruments for a long time. Music lessons are definitely in our future!

I don't think we've ever used the term "milk mustache" with him, but that's what he told us after he drank Daddy's post-exercise protein shake. We're happy to sneak in extra calories wherever we can, because our boy is lean like daddy and not very interested in dinnertime. We've found we're more successful at getting him to eat if we let him away from the table and then periodically entice him to have a bite when he runs by us. Not a method of eating that will win us any best parenting discipline awards, but for a wiggly little boy, perhaps the best way of getting calories in. He will still eat almost anything, but if it is red in color or unfamiliar to him, he'll ask "spicy?" to make sure it isn't. He loves nuts and dried fruit, and knows where to find it in the cabinet, but his favorite snack is a bowl of "ce-re-er-re-er-real."

Our annual local pumpkin fest. It was very hot and he still doesn't understand the idea of posing for a picture, so this was the best I got. My little boy is so patient and gentle. He put up with several photo sessions, and let Mommy and Grandma drag him all around the park, before finally asking, just as we were considering leaving, "Micah turn horsies?" We thought he hadn't realized that the horse-drawn carriages circling the park were an optional attraction; turns out he was just waiting for us to figure out that a ride was his rightful reward for posing for pictures!

25-26 Months

2011-09-10T21:31:00.000-06:00

The month of August was a bit of a hot, crazy blur, between a camping trip, a family reunion in California, and bedbugs. Micah grew up so much in the month since his birthday. He's slowly graduating from two-word phrases with an implied verb or noun, but not both, to recognizable sentences. He got a puzzle game that requires matching up pairs of related objects, and went from having no capability at all to being able to make quite a few pairs before getting bored. He became a willful toddler where he was once a docile boy, and he started to ask for food treats and to be taken to a "grey-gound". While there have been occasional exasperating toddler moments (sometimes whole hours or afternoons!) he's still mostly a very sweet, easy-going boy who can be gentle or silly or watchful, but hardly ever naughty (and when he is naughty, he immediately suggests, "time out?")

Moving from a back-ward facing carseat to forward-facing gave him a new sense of being with us in the car, with more interaction and conversations. Many verses of "the wheels on the bus" have been demanded, and we talk about the construction equipment, trucks, and other things we see from the window.

On our trip to California, he spent some time with his aunts, cousins, and grandparents, and now he understands that they are part of his family even though he doesn't see them often. He's learning that not everything goes his way, and he's learning (slowly) that he can't hit or bite when that happens. He loves to tell us what to do now, and will pick up my purse and drag it over to me when he wants to leave the house, pointing to the crook of his elbow and telling me "suitcase wight here" to indicate where it should go, or tell his daddy, "Daddy, floor trains" when he wants daddy to get off the couch and play with his choo-choos. He's become very interested in music, and really enjoyed the "instrument petting zoo" at a local fair, where musicians let him get very close to and watch them play instruments. We now try to play more classical and jazz music for him, and show him Youtube videos of different instruments (he asks "Wheels on Bus on co-peuw-da?").
We've been indulging his interest in transportation by taking him on a real train ride up in the mountains on a historic train. It was fun and exciting, but because it was a bit too long for a toddler to be confined to a seat, pretty physically exhausting for mommy and daddy who had to wrestle to keep a wiggly toddler from falling out the window or running on a moving train. We also stopped by a fire station one day last week and the firemen were so nice; they all got up from their dinner and proudly showed off the firetruck, letting a very happy little boy "drive" the firetruck and offering to take a very happy big boy (Adam) on a "ride along" for a day. I'm very happy that his interest in transportation is also mixed with a healthy dose of caution: when we're taking out and about and he hears a car, he'll remind us, "car coming" and grab a hand or shrink back, even if he's safely on a sidewalk or driveway.
All in all, we're having a lot of fun with Micah's new ability to comprehend and interact with the world.

From 1 to 2 In Review

2011-08-29T18:00:00.000-06:00

On a happier note, I'm pleased to share this chronicle of Micah's 2nd year. Once again, made using Scrapbookmax software and many products from www.thedigichick.com and published in hardback using www.shutterfly.com.

Click here to view this photo book larger

Thunk postscript

2011-08-29T15:05:00.003-06:00

It was lucky Micah fell out of bed; in changing the mattress over to the car bed, we realized that he had somehow acquired a million fellow bedmates: bedbugs! Yikes! The last few weeks have been upsetting, difficult, and expensive as we try to get rid of them. Nothing makes you feel quite so terrible as a parent as seeing your child covered with signs that he's been nibbled on in his sleep for weeks.
So that you, my loyal readers, can reap the benefit (and hopefully avoid some of the cost) of getting rid of the critters, here are some of the lessons I've learned so far:
1) Accept no hand-me-downs or yard sale purchases that cannot be washed in the clothes or dishwasher. We think ours arrived in some plastic truck toys given to us by a neighbor (who later told us that they had bedbugs.) Bedbugs die at around 120 degrees F, so tossing things in the dryer on the hottest setting or the dishwasher will kill them, but with thick things like stuffed animals, it is hard to know whether they've reached the right heat inside.
2) Wash everything that comes into your house right away.
3) When arriving home after travelling, wash everything that's been in a hotel room right away.
4) If you do acquire bedbugs, don't go for the most expensive remedy right away. We had an exterminator come in and perform the less-invasive treatment of steam-cleaning one room. We had to take everything out of the room and wash it (a good opportunity for giving away a lot of his outgrown clothes and toys). The more expensive option would have been to bring in generators and fans to heat the ENTIRE HOUSE to 160 degrees..... costs about $1/square foot, at least in our part of the world.
5) Don't assume that one treatment solves the problem. We bought new mattresses and a new bed (threw away the car bed; it was either infested before we got it or got very infested in just a day with us), and new changing pad. However, the next day, we found a well-fed bedbug on the plastic-encased mattress, so we moved Micah out of the room and set up a full booby-trap situation.... heavy-duty chemicals and a carbon-dioxide "lure" to draw out all the remaining baby bed bugs. We've had that set-up for about a week and still are drawing a few babies out of hiding, so can't let Micah back into the room yet. I'm not sure when we'll be able to declare "mission accomplished," but I don't want to do so prematurely.
6) Don't buy expensive products when inexpensive ones will do the job. We bought a $75 "bed bug beacon" (instead of paying the exterminator $100 to rent his detector) only to discover that the active chemical ingredients are sugar and yeast. D'oh! An adequate bed bug lure can be built using common household items for about $10......
We have had some fun adventures while dealing with this unpleasantness, so my next post will be back to our usual happy family fun.

THU-nk

2011-08-08T20:00:00.000-06:00

pimp my baby.....
Vrooommmm! Daddy's "my-come" going for a ride in the garage. Yes, that is a naked boy on the motorcycle....nothing comes between me and my "mycome! "

That loud THUnk you heard on Sunday afternoon? That my friend was the sound of the future being ushered in by our son. We had just settled down after a hot and sweaty bike ride -- Micah for a nap, and Adam and me for a nice quiet lunch. A quiet that was disturbed by the aforementioned Thunk. We instantly knew what it was, even as we were racing to his room, even as we were thinking to ourselves "but he's never tried to climb out of his crib before." The crying we heard when we got to his room proved what we already knew.... he had somehow climbed out of his crib and landed on the floor.

What could have caused him to do that? He actually seemed to be mostly asleep even through his tears. Was he dreaming of his successful climb of the monkey bars at our local playground only a week ago? Was he dreaming of trying to get into the front seat of the car to pretend to drive? Sure, there have been other "big boy" signs that we've gotten recently..... in fact, earlier that day I had purchased the next biggest sized diapers for him and, strolling through the baby aisle, realized that we wouldn't be needing anything from that section (except for diapers) any more. And he's started to demand a big fork when he sits in a big chair at the dining table -- not even a salad fork will do. Regardless, I thought I had a few more months to enjoy the safety and peace of mind of the crib. But that was all left behind by that loud Thunk. If he could do it once, even in his sleep, he could do it again. No sooner were the tears dried than we started planning a trip to our brand-spanking new Ikea to buy a big boy bed.

But even that plan was put into fast motion. Later that day, on our way to go out to dinner, Adam excitedly pulled a U-turn, exclaiming "Look, a car bed!" Silly me, I thought he was directing my attention to some flatbed truck.....no, it was a bed in the shape of a car, bound to delight a transportation-crazy little boy (and his daddy). And for $10, the bed was ours, and the crib dismanted before the day was done. Micah actually did a big ol' happy dance when it arrived in his room -- I thought that was just a figure of speech, but now I know it is something that 2 year olds actually do (along with melting spaghetti imitations, but that's a story for another day.)

I hope that its a long time before he has a pretty blond in his bed again!

The wheels on the bus...

2011-07-18T03:30:00.000-06:00

The wheels on the bus go round and round and round and round and round. Wheels of all kinds, but busses in particular, are an obsession at our house these days. One of Micah's favorite passtimes is to sing the wheels on the bus song, and call out the names of members of our family for me to sing their special verse (the grandma on the bus says 'have a cookie' is one that Micah likes to sing himself; Adam objected that his verse, "the daddy on the bus says 'sit right down'" was too scolding so we changed it to "the daddy on the bus says 'look around!'"). Going to see the school bus parked outside of daycare is still an everyday event, and if we don't walk to see it, we have to drive by it and wave goodbye. Micah's first full sentence, "Aunt Jamie, look! Wheels!" was also transportation-oriented, and his obsession while we were camping last weekend was to climb into daddy's car and sit in the driver's seat. Dangerous, since he also knows where the key goes into the ignition!

He's beginning to know the specialized names of lots of different kinds of trucks, including fire truck and garbage truck, and I had a heart-to-heart conversation with him the other day in which I made him promise to always use the term "gumpda" to refer to dump trucks. He'll pull out books from his bookshelf just so he can look at a single page that has a picture of a bus or a truck on it.

Yup, he's a boy all right. We think he's a pretty smart boy, for sure. The other day, standing in front of a vending machine, he pushed the button and, when nothing happened, asked me "money?" I'm 100% positive he's never seen either of us use a vending machine, so I don't know how he knew it required money. When I told him I didn't have any, he suggested the next logical step: "ganma" -- ask grandma for money!!

Another sign that he's becoming a boy: he's learning how to razz his Daddy by implying that he has lady parts, and being fascinated with watching water come out of his "peenie". And so it begins!

This weekend we had an early birthday party for Micah (Adam was originally slated to be out of town during Micah's actual birthday weekend in two weeks.) We camped out at a local campground, and invited family and neighbors to come there for an evening cookout. It was a lot of fun, though I'm not sure the birthday boy realized it was all on his behalf .... until the bus cake was brought out and the birthday song began. He asked us to sing "hah birdy" several times, which we happily did. A weekend of good food, sun, waterplay, and sleeping in the camper was a great way to celebrate our special little boy who has brought so much sunshine into our lives.

Days Flying

2011-06-22T09:54:00.007-06:00

The days are long but the years are short.... how many times pre-kids did you hear someone say some variation of that line and scoff at what must surely be an exaggeration. But it becomes very true when you have a child. In fact, I was just recently "chatting" by e-mail with a fellow Indian surrogacy mommy ho just brought home her son and trying to remember how long it took Micah to sleep through the night and how we did it.... realized that it seems so long ago, when at the time it seemed to stretch on forever.

Our lives have been busy for the last few weeks. I was in Boston, then Adam was in Phoenix, then Micah and I few to Phoenix for a visit with some family and friends.... then I was back in Boston, and most recently we had houseguests last weekend and will again this weekend! All so good! Highlights include:

A surprise stop on the "surrogacy world tour" when we started talking to a male couple in our hotel in Phoenix and discovered that their 6-month old doctor was born in Delhi! We look forward to connecting with them again when we visit Southern Cal at the end of the summer.

Spending time with Micah's grandpa and nana, and introducing him to his Aunt Tracy

Visiting with some dear friends in Tucson, who were entertained when Micah decided to strip to his diapers while we enjoyed a lovely alfresco dinner out.

Micah's thorough enjoyment of airplane and bus travel on the trip. He must have announced "Aih-pane!" 300 times en route!

Regular family bike rides after dinner, and often Adam and Micah commute to daycare via bike.

Watching Micah play with our visiting friends' 4-year-old -- lots of hugs, learning to share toys between these 2 only children, and splashing in the bath together

Gone baby gone

2011-05-23T23:13:00.006-06:00

I was startled to realize today as Micah and I had dinner that about 90% of what comes out of mouth is recognizable (at least by me) words. No more baby babble! Wah, I'm the one crying, as I thought the babble was pretty cute.

Now, I'm not saying that we're over here having a Great Books discussion. Most of the conversation goes like this:

Micah: Guck!

Me: Oh, you want to go see the truck. Yes, let's go walk up the street to see it.

Micah: Guck! Noise!

Me: Yes, the truck was making a lot of noise this morning.

Micah: Man

Me: There was a man driving that noisy truck, wasn't there.

Micah: Guck! (getting distracted while we're walking) Circle.

Me: Oh, look what you found! A (disgusting piece of plastic trash) circle!

Micah: Circle. (showing me) Circle, etc.

He's also started stringing 2 words together, as in Daddy car, Mommy eye. This is the result of a good idea that Adam had a few months ago to distinguish between things that are Micah's and things that are someone else's. I highly recommend making this distinction as soon as your child starts talking.

Lots of things are starting to click all at once. He's gotten the concept (but not the specifics) of counting, and will count up to 6 with a little prodding and a lot of hints. He is totally obsessed with Daddy's me-come (motorcycle), a new addition to our household that currently sits, unregistered, in our garage. He also loves to pretend to talk on the toy phone, and will say "hi grandma," but if you get him to talk on a regular phone (such as I was trying to get him to do while I was away recently), you get a confused expression. He insists on going to visit the schoolbus parked at his daycare every day, and woe betide me if I try to get him into the car before we walk down the block and peer into the bus window and name all the parts. This afternoon, I transitioned him away from the bus by singing "the wheels on the bus" song as I've done several times in the past, but this time I heard him singing it in the back seat (without any words) on the way home.

We're off on another adventure this weekend -- Micah and I are flying to meet Adam in Arizona and visit with some family and friends. A few people I've mentioned this to have asked if this is Micah's first plane trip, and i just laugh! First time travelling with just one parent, though, should be interesting. At least it is a very short flight!

America's Most Wanted Babies

2011-04-29T08:06:00.008-06:00

The week of April 25th saw the birth of three of America's most wanted babies, at least in my little world. First off was a dear friend who spent a long time trying to get pregnant, and who I was urging to look into surrogacy. I even introduced her to some members of our surrogacy "alumni" society, and wouldn't you know, she found out that her last ditch, last embryo IVF procedure had been successful just a week or so later. At the same time as I was talking to my friend about going to India, I was contacted out of the blue by a woman in California whose husband had met my cousin's husband and discussed their struggles to have a baby; my cousin's husband gave them my name, I talked to the wife, and they dropped everything and jetted off to Delhi for a quick trip that resulted in a baby boy in the middle of last week. And finally, the week ended with the birth of a sweet little girl to a friend of mine from Boston who decided, after years of looking for the right man, to fulfill her dream of a child while she could. All these babies are so wanted and treasured, and I'm thrilled to have witnessed the parents' dreams come true. Again I realize how lucky we are to live in at a time when medicine, technology, and societal norms have come together to make it possible for those of us who lack perfect "equipment" to achieve our dreams.

Back in my immediate world, I was away for 5 days for business, and came home to what felt like a smarter, more clearly communicating, exceptionally sweet little boy. Some developments over the last month:

On several mornings, Micah's crib held a naked little boy who figured out how to strip off his PJs (and one day, his diaper) before we arrived.

He's mastering the art of stacking things into "towers" very patiently.

He now loves slides and has started to climb playground equipment more confidently -- does everything more confidently, in fact.

He loves to hold hands and walk down the block (sometimes making me "march"), and knows which houses the other kids on the block live in.

He loves to "help" daddy with yard work especially if it involves a shovel or stick.

He missed his chance to fulfill the role of the youngest child at Passover because, a minute after I changed him into his dress clothes before dinner, he promptly vomited 3 times and went to bed before the seder. Performance anxiety? Or an after-effect of swallowing a fairly sizable rock the day before that passed smoothly into his diaper?

He still says "bye-bye" to inanimate objects.

He switched from calling my mother "maga" to "grandma" overnight.

He now calls the pacifier "paci" and it is even more indispensible.

The question "Was dat?" has returned, and he will repeat new words that interest him.

He's been scolded at daycare for throwing food and biting other children .

He loves peering under the couch to find our scardy-cat cats, and knows their names.

He still has an outie belly button that's clearly not going away on its own.

He loves looking a photos, and can name relatives he's only met a few times and identify pictures of mommy and daddy from the days when they were much younger-looking. He also identifies himself as "Mah-kah."

He loves "this little piggy", getting tickled and nuzzled, and getting chased around the circular path through our living room and kitchen.

Just today, he brought two stuffed monkeys that were in his crib to breakfast, and tried to give them his pacifier and feed them some of his breakfast. How cute is that?

20 @ 20

2011-03-29T22:01:00.007-06:00

At 20 months, you are:

Obsessed with shovels. You notice them everywhere, even calling your spoon a "shi-va," and want to spend every minute in the backyard dragging one of our big sharp tools around.

The only thing you like as much as shovels is sticks. Expecially waving them around the house.

Ask for "boots" as soon as you wake up in the morning. (that's books, not footwear.)

Will eat brussel sprouts, bean sprouts, asparagus, and any other veggie, often before other toddler-friendly food.

But meatloaf is your favorite dinner. Just like your daddy.

Still lay down and go to sleep as soon as we put you in your crib. And we're still amazed, each and every time.

Ask to go "ou-dide" at 7 am every morning.

Were amazed when we went out one morning this week into a short-lasting snowstorm. You learned the words "snow" and "crow" that morning.

As soon as the word "school" is mentioned, you ask about your favorite buddy, "Ally."

Are happy to be dropped off at school, particularly if you get first dibs on the schoolbus toy in your room.

Have started singing the Twinkle Twinkle with mostly nonsense words and a few syllables of recognizable words.

Know the shapes for hearts and stars and can say the words. Circles and squares, not as interesting.

Got a new trike from a neighbor and love to be pushed around on it (pedeling can wait, it seems.)

Love getting horseback rides from daddy, and giggle uproariously, but get jealous if mommy tries to get in on the action.

Will politely tell us "all done" and hand us every item on your plate as soon as you decide the meal is over.

Know how to ask "pssss" for something you really want, but get frustrated if we don't know exactly what that is.

Immediately answer "no" to any question we ask you, as if you've given the matter great thought.

Love to have Grandma visit and give her a big hug. You'll occassionally give kisses on request too.

Imitate us frequently, like when we wink at you and you try to wink back.

Make us laugh and smile and glow with pride every single day.

One more hassle

2011-03-10T17:21:00.004-07:00

I thought I was done with nearly every legal and religious hoop that needed to be jumped through for Micah. Indian birthcertificate, check. US passport, check. Exit visa, check. Circumsion and conversion, check and check (or should I say, slice and check.) Adoption decree, big check (and yes, it required a big check.) Then we sat back, patiently waiting for our state to figure out how to issue a new birth certificate..... and waited..... they contacted the State Department to ask for a new Coninsular Report of Birth Abroad.... and waited. Finally, today our lawyer sent me a letter from the State Department asking for certified copies of my birth certificate, marriage certificate, adoption decree, and a notorized request for an amendment to the birth certificate.... what a pain. Adam wonders why I care so much, but I know (from this request if nothing else) that there are many occasions in life when you need to show your birth certificate, and I want Micah's to reflect the correct information. I just feel bad that each time he needs a copy of his birth certificate, he's going to have to request it from the State Department. What a pain they are to deal with!

19 months/Mexican sunsets

2011-03-07T20:48:00.006-07:00

We're back from our Mexican excursion, safe, sandy, and (only me) sunburned. Bliss. Back in the day (say, less than 2 years ago), a good vacation for me and Adam involved daily hikes or water activities and covering as much ground as possible. But we've quickly realized that with a toddler, less is sometimes more, so we found ourselves a simple house right on the beach and parked ourselves there for a week, venturing away from our little village only to find an ATM mid-week to support the local, cash-only merchants.

It was amazing to watch Micah thrive on this week of being a "free-range" kid! Right before the trip, he had learned a new word, "happy," to tell us when things were A-OK by him, and he used it frequently on the trip. He also used a new command, "Ow-dide," barked with increasing intensity to tell us when he wanted us to take him outside (it was rather funny that he usually issued this command from the open-air living room/kitchen or balcony of our rental house!) Although it was somewhat tedious for us to chase after him as he toddled down the nearby beach access road to visit the stray cats and merchants, it was wonderful to see his self confidence and curiosity. And although somewhat embarassing for us, it was also quite funny to see him walk up to strangers in restaurants and on the beach and try to play with their beach toys or eat their dinners!

Another new word used frequently on this trip was "wow" -- used when seeing something spectacular, like the ocean for the first time, or a beautiful sunset. Folks, there is no better reason to become a parent than to hear the joy and wonder of a child saying "wow" in that way. It is so interesting as a vocabulary word, too, so different from the much more frequent pointing to things and naming them: birdie, woof, guck. This one says "I am having an experience and I want to make sure you understand it." A parallel development: learning to arrange the face into a fake expression. One of the books we brought along on this trip shows a woman with a surprised expression -- big eyes and mouth in a large O. By the end of the week, Micah was frequently making this expression, sometimes appropriately but mostly because it got a laugh from us.

We also observed a new fascination with motor vehicles, including "heh-co-co" (helicopters, or what you and I know as airplanes), and any non-car vehicle, all falling into a category he calls "guck", or truck. Adam made the mistake of letting Micah sit in the driver's seat of our rental car while we did the paperwork, and he suddenly wanted to climb into the front seat every chance he could, and onto the dune buggies common in the village we were staying in.

In the last few weeks, we've also seen him increase his ability to really play imaginatively -- he picked up sticks several times and called them "heh-co-co" because they looked somewhat airplane-like. He was firmly attached to his "sh-sh" (shovel) and rake that we bought to play with on the beach, and if he had assigned you to the rake, he would give it back to you every time you stopped raking the sand. And Adam and I got to participate in more rounds of "ring around the rosy" than either of us has in many a year. Micah was really interested in other kids on the beach -- watching the big boys play ball, and joining other kids who were digging away to "help" them with their sand castles. He was also eager to hug and love every dog that came his way, and we were luckily that this village has a lot of very friendly dogs!

All in all, he was an easy-going travel companion, with the exception of about half of each 3 hour plane trip and a few nights at dinner where we kept him out past his bedtime. He slept each night in a little tent (Adam described it as a kennel) without any difficulty after the first time, ate nearly everything he tried (except for some spicy salsa that we accidentally put on a drumstick), and bravely faced the teeny-tiny little ocean waves (though he really didn't get the concept of playing in the water.)

All in all, while it was certainly exhausting for us in a completely different way than our past vacations, we're so glad that we were able to spend such quality time relaxing with Micah and watching him grow... and heck, I was even able to finish half of a long novel, something I rarely accomplished on previous trips with Adam!

Amost ready

2011-02-24T23:06:00.003-07:00

The grandparents are worried about crazy drug cartel kidnappers; I'm worried about packing enough kid equipment and making sure we have everything lined up on the home front while we're gone; Adam's worried about..... well, he's not worried about anything, he shows up on the trips I plan and creates adventures for us (oh, and cleans manaically before we go). Micah's in his crib dreaming of eating sand and how much fun he's going to have escaping from his peapod tent, which arrived today. He's a good sleeper, but has never slept outside of a crib or pack-and-play and I'm afraid he's going to enjoy his freedom too much. But have na-na, will travel. I love it when people at the airport see his passport and marvel at how a toddler has a passport.... little do they know he was born with a passport!

One more day of stress trying to get everything done at work and then at home, and then we're off! Are there any Indian surrogacy babies we can visit on the Pacific coasst of Mexico? Speaking of, I checked in with a new friend in California today... she heard about Micah's story when her husband had some medical treatment with my cousin's husband. We talked on the phone and e-mailed a few times over the summer, and poof, she was off to India and is expecting a baby in May! I feel so happy when I'm able to help someone else achieve their dream of parenthood that they didn't think possible. Can't wait to visit them in SoCal at some point; another notch in my Surrogacy around the world trip!

Another plug for CSN stores

2011-02-16T13:04:00.004-07:00

... silly me, I never took advantage of the benefits I received about blogging about the huge online CSN stores. They have stores for everything, including backyard swing sets, This time, I'm planning to check out the Kidco PeaPod Travel Tent -- a much lighter alternative to taking a Pack 'n Play on an airplane with us. Airplane, you ask? Yes, we're getting ready for a family beach vacation in Mexico -- Micah's second trip abroad, not counting his birth -- where we could use it for his sleeping and any potential naps on the beach. We have a few other trips other planned for the next few months, and I think the PeaPod Tent will be useful in our camper over the summer.

Busy boy

2011-02-07T20:57:00.007-07:00

I think we're finally out of the winter doldrums here.... poor unreasonable little boy had an ear infection last week which is finally better, and Adam caught Micah's cold and nursed it far longer, as we adults usually do. With everyone finally better, and with the construction project in our house finally wrapped up, we were ready for some fun this weekend. In one tiring day, we took Micah sledding for an hour, and then after his nap, I took Micah and his 5 year old cousin to our Children's museum. I now have the utmost respect for parents of 2 children -- it was an exhausting two hours trying to keep my eyes on two children at once! Later that evening, Micah and Adam kicked it watching the Superbowl together.

Adam's Superbowl party, hangin' with the boys....Micah and his cousin Ben.

Sledding... Micah wasn't too sure he enjoyed it.

Adam trying to catch big air.

Micah's new favorite toy... looks like he's doing some geneology research there.

Micah just hit the 18-month mark. He's still tracking along his growth curve, at about 10th percentile for weight, 40th percentile for height (poor boy has the wrong genes for height.) His eyes are still blue, but with more of a greenish tint, so he'll have no trouble with the girls (or boys...whatever!) Of course, Mommy still thinks he's very smart. He loves trying out new words -- my favorite right now is "hay-co-co" for helicopter -- and every night grabs my hand and insists on "boots," leading me to his room to sit in my lap and read books. He loves any technology, and has learned how to crash computers and pick up any telephone-shaped object to say "hiya" . He loves his daycare, and at the end of the day he loves to go into every empty classroom and say "bye" to everyone. He's still a good eater, saying "apple" to signify that he's hungry (or that he actually wants an apple!) and he'll eat most foods that we eat. He loves to have music playing and to dance with us; to get horseback rides from mommy and daddy; to splash in the bath; and to snuggle up with his "na-na" and pacifier at the end of the day. Other new tricks: learning to wink, asking "peasssss" when he really wants something, sitting in a grown-up chair to eat. We seem to spend most of our time just watching him in amazement and grinning in pride at what a little person he's becoming!

Unreasonabler

2011-01-26T22:41:00.002-07:00

I'm trying to figure out why they call this stage "toddler." Yes, toddling is a characteristic of an 18-24 month old, but a far more pervasive characteristic is unreasonableness.... I think they should be called unreasonablers. But I guess that would be bad marketing. Anyway, my own particular unreasonabler is still a pretty nice boy to have around. We're just mystified, though, about the fact that suddenly, 2 weeks ago, he woke up one morning severely attached to the soft, snuggly blanket that's been in his crib for months, and demanded to drag it with him throughout the house. It even suddenly acquired a name, na-na. Some days we can pursuade him that na-na has to stay in his crib (with his pacifier), but other days it must come with him. And for the last two nights, he's wanted it snuggled next to him in his high chair, which is not the best place for it, especially when dinner is spaghetti and meat balls! My little unreasonabler really wanted to bring na-na in the bath with him, but I drew the line at that, which meant that tonight's bathtime was extremely short and tearful. Both Adam and I had blankies when we were little, so I suppose we can't object to this new phase, but I'm going to try to disallow na-na from leaving the house, both to keep it from getting too dirty and from getting lost. We'll see how that goes!

Batten down the hatches!

2011-01-18T18:17:00.004-07:00

No drawer or cabinet is safe anymore, including the fridge door! No stick shall remain un-swung! No step-stool shall remain in its appointed corner (tho' he hasn't figured out the idea of using it to climb, I'm sure that isn't far away.) No book shall remain on its shelf, and no forkful of food shall remain un-flung. No catfood shall remain it its bowl. No command to "Walk" shall be ignored. The favorite blanket shall not remain in the crib, but shall be dragged around the house (through the aforementioned flung food) and given a name: na-na (same as he calls bananas.)

Houston, we have a toddler!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-03T21:23:00.004-07:00

I am so happy that the new year has started off with happy news in blogland, with a sac for Kerry and Mark, a baby on the way for a friend of mine who's tried for a long time, and everyone else's babies thriving and doing fun new stuff. Here in Denver, Micah hit the 17 month mark last week and has been full of fun lately. I took my first "staycation" (unless you count my maternity leave that I had to use vacation time for!), and we spent the week doing fun family activities with my sisters, nieces and nephews. No Christmas for us, but we were lucky to spend the weekend in the snowy mountains, seeing fireworks on a ski slope, eating bad chinese food, and taking Micah out in the snow. He went on an 8 mile snowshoe trek with Daddy and did great, despite falling out of the backpack due to a wardrobe malfunction -- the snow was deep and fluffy, and he was unphased (what a trooper!)

His spent a lot of time with his four cousins, who range in age from 4.5 to 7.5 and who all wanted to love him to death, but he pretty much did his own thing: exploring, riding the life-sized stuffed collie at Grandma and Grandpa's, tucking in for a full meal when the other kids were done in 30 seconds. Other highlights of our staycation were a trip to see the special holiday light display at our zoo, a New Year's Eve party that ended at 7 pm local time (mommy was asleep by 9), a fancy tea outing with my nieces, mom, and sisters, and a bedlam-like photo shoot with all the cousins.

Micah's new cute tricks include reaching out to hold mommy or daddy's hand and commanding "Walk," getting most of the food from a bowl to mouth via a spoon, pulling books off a shelf and backing up into the waiting adult's lap (though he often looks at one page and wants another book), learning to point to eyes, nose, mouth, hair, and belly on cue (tho' he calls everything on the face "ays"), giggling hilariously to "this little piggy" (and repeating "weee weee weee" to himself at random times), bopping along to music whenever he hears it with the request to "dance."

Not so cute tricks include banging on our antique glass display case when he wants attention and thinking it is a game when we sternly say "no" and chase him away, frequent love bites on mommy or daddy (note: don't pretend to nibble on your adorable infant, for he will surely gnaw on you in return when he has teeth), wanting to dip his hands and feet in the cats' food and water at every opportunity, and literally melting down onto the floor when he wants something we don't understand. Toddlerhood, nous sommes ici!

Words, words, words

2010-12-20T20:33:00.002-07:00

I'm beginning to feel a lot like Annie Sullivan around here, as Micah's thirst for language magnifies every day. Pretty much from sun up to sun down, we get quizzed with the words "whas dhat?" He can't always repeat what we say, and there are some very cute alternatives. For example, "shoes" is just "shzzz" and "cat" is "ow" (for meow). Anything round is "apple," which also seems to be a general conversational word, on the order of "how are you doing?" or "I'm in the kitchen." He can now ask to go "up" very clearly, and is very emphatic when he's "ah dun" with a meal. He has his first verb this week, "dance," which is also one of his favorite activities. There are still a lot of words that he's saying that don't mean anything to us, like "ghush."
He's definitely understanding a lot of what we say, and when we say "time for school" or "time for a bath," he knows to grab a hand and toddle in the right direction. He can point to several body parts, including eyes, ears, mouth, hair, and tummy, and just today said "eyes," which sounds a lot like another frequent demand we hear, "ice" (which we give him in restaurants to keep him busy.) It is amazing to see all the language developing, and you never know where a new word will turn up. One day he said "elephant" quite clearly, but hasn't repeated it again; he says "owl" quite a lot too -- we think they may have talked about owls a lot at school during halloween. And this week we had the biggest surprise -- he quite clearly is identifying the Sesame Street character "Elmo" by name despite the fact that we he doesn't watch TV at all at home, and I don't think they watch it at school.
We're looking forward to a visit from my sister and her family this week, and it will be wonderful to have all 5 of my sisters' and my children together for the first time. I think my niece and nephew will be quite surprised that "baby Micah" isn't quite a baby anymore, tho' I hope they'll be less interested in carrying him around like a doll than his cousins who live locally. As the youngest, Micah will have to learn to stand up for himself quickly, but he also seems to be everyone's pet.
Wishing all of my friends around the world a very joyous holiday season!

Happy Hanukkah!

2010-12-01T21:34:00.002-07:00

16 months/2 years/49 years

2010-11-26T15:02:00.008-07:00

Yes, I admit, I did color-coordinate my outfit to my son's.... does that make me shallow???

Riding the "neigh-neigh"..... we'll break the news about zebras soon!

Helping mommy get ready for Thanksgiving

Mine mine all mine.

Micah is sixteen months old today, and today is the two-year anniversary of his conception -- that crazy day we sat at a beach bungalow in Goa and heard the 36-hour-old news about the terrorist attack in Mumbai, and it slowly dawned on us that our families might be worried..... the start of our crazy, delayed journey back to Mumbai and onward to home, with new security in place and unexpected flight delays, admidst our continued deliberations of whether we were ready to be parents.... what a start you had in this world, Micah Moo!

Today is also my parents 49th anniversary. How much worry we caused them 2 years ago, and what a great present we brought home!

Micah's list of accomplishments keeps growing. We couldn't be more proud of him if he sprouted wings and began to fly. Today he said his first three-syllable word, elephant, loud and clear, and daddy was there so he believes me. He also knows to point at his hair if you ask him "Where's your hair," and asks for his favorite foods, "Ap-pul" and "na-na" every time the refrigerator is open. He got a new little walker toy today, and demonstrated that he can walk backwards nearly as well as he walks forwards. He recognizes so many words now: bath, brush, ball, book, and loves to point and ask for "Dat" or to ask what "Dhis" is. He loves to sit in mommy's lap and read books, particularly Boyton books, the Cat and Dog books with moving tails, Brown bear, Brown Bear. However, he still loves to eat the dry cat food and play in the cats' water bowl, so perhaps he's not as bright as we think.

It's Official

2010-11-17T20:25:00.002-07:00

Dear Micah,
You weren't with us today in the courtroom because it was your naptime, and after your recent performance at our favorite Sunday brunch restaurant, we've learned not to mess with the nap. We were there for a very important reason -- to complete the process of making sure I have all the legal rights and responsibilities of being your mother. Of course, it changes nothing. I'll still be the same woman who has been feeding, cuddling, reading, bathing, and shopping for you. But somehow, it was momentous, too, when the judge asked your daddy why I should be your mother and he said "Because she is. Because we wouldn't have a child if it wasn't for her." The judge asked daddy about my moral character, and he vouched for my honesty and integrity." Good thing the judge didn't ask me too many questions, because I started to cry as soon as we got in the courtroom, and all I could muster were simple answers with my voice cracking. "Because he's my heart and soul" is what I would have liked to have answered. We were lucky to have a judge who really "got it" that you came to be my son immediately, that no one else considers you to be her son. In 9 minutes it was over, and the record states, "In the matter of the petition of Stephanie KB for the adoption of a child Micah Gabriel S, it is therefore ordered, adjudged and decreed that the Final Decree of Adoption for the child is hereby granted, and that the child shall be and is hereby entitled to all rights and privileges and subject to all obligations of a child pursuant to statute."

I wonder if you have any idea of how ridiculously loved you are? It isn't just your daddy and me, though we spend most of our free time these days watching you toddle around with your little gorilla gait, exploring and showing off your newest skills. It isn't just your grandparents, either, who seem watch you with a special sort of pride reserved for the youngest grandchild. It seems like everyone you meet seems a little enthralled by you. You have such a gentle way, such a happy smile, and eyes that lock into connection with others. Kvell, kvell, kvell, we are proud of you beyond measure, for these traits lie within you, not through anything we've done as parents.
What's been most excitely lately is watching the pride you take in your own accomplishments. This week I bought you new "big boy" shoes, not the soft slippery type shoe you'd been wearing up until now. At first, you acted like we had poured concrete around your feet, and that we had played some horrible trick on you, but after one day of wearing them, you're walking so much stronger and you want your shoes on immediately on waking up, even if I have to put them on over your pajama feet. Today, when I brought you home from daycare, I let you walk up the front walkway instead of carrying you, and instead of going inside you walked to your stroller and demanded to be taken on a walk. It was the first time we say you really express an opinion on wanting to do something. It seems like you make a new amazing discovery every day. A few days ago it was the moon, today it was mommy's bubblegum. I guess what really makes me your mother is being so excited to see you learn and grow, becoming a real person in your own right.

Today I am a Boy

2010-11-03T18:10:00.003-06:00

Today my little sweet baby became a boy. How do I know it was today? Call it the Three Stoodges Test: he laughed at his own fart noise. 'nuf said.

On the growth and development front, Micah had his 15 month check-up today: he's in the 45th percentile for height and the 10th percentile for weight. He's gonna be a lean boy like his daddy.

More Halloween Cuteness

2010-10-31T20:04:00.004-06:00

Dang, why did I make "duck" my first word! This hood is annoying........

Uh-oh, Mom, we have a problem here! (With Marley, our across-the-street neighbor.)

I'll show you my pacifier if you show me yours!

Halloween Warm-up

2010-10-29T21:50:00.004-06:00

Just had a nice-sized spider run across my keyboard as I was catching up on other people's blogs.... a sure sign of fall in Colorado. We're getting ready for a balmy Halloween weekend here. Of course, Micah doesn't know what this is about, but we plan to take him out to some daytime costume events to show him off in his adorable duck costume. Photos of that to come, but in the meantime, thought I'd show off what he wore to daycare today, courtesy of Aunt Victoria (cute beret came home with me from France). Little boys aren't nearly as much fun to dress as little girls, but this is pretty darn cute!

Where did you learn THAT????

2010-10-22T14:38:00.002-06:00

Micah's 15th month has been one new trick after another. I was away from home for a week on a long-awaited get-away with two dear friends (to France!!! I'm a very lucky mommy!) and came back to find a skinny little boy where my soft baby had been. Adam kindly pretended that Micah hadn't walked his first steps alone while I was gone, but then, the first day I picked him up from daycare, he took a few steps to the teacher. While I felt a twinge of jealousy, I also am happy beyond measure to see him grow and become independent. Walking away from me is what he was born to do.

His walk is like Frankenstein, and he still prefers to have a finger or two supporting him (or to crawl), but every day he gets a little stronger and more sure of himself.

Other new and surprising tricks come every day. A few days ago, I was in the bathroom washing my face and heard him crawl in behind me. I turned off the water to see him, and was confused when I heard water still running. He had gotten into the bathtub and turned on the faucets, and was watching the water hit his shoes. On another day, I was making a quick potty stop before taking him to daycare, and he came in and sat down on the little step-stool we have next to the sink. Where did you learn to sit on a chair like that?? So cute!

Daycare is where a lot of these new tricks come from. Yesterday when I picked him up, he was sitting at the table with two other kids, "coloring," or at least, holding a crayon. He's also learned to get onto a swing and will hold onto the chains while Daddy pushes him (with a hand positioned in front and back just in case his attention waivers.)

My favorite new development is an interest in looking at books. From about the time mobility started, he's had very little interest in sitting to look at books, but now he will pull books off his shelf and turn the pages. His favorites seem to be ones with photos rather than illustrations, particularly of animals and babies. Every day he wants to look at his books called "Cats" and another called "Dogs" that has tabs that move the animals' tails. I'm partial to the page that has 4 dog pictures showing "Bark dog, howl dog, sniff the tree. All dogs poop and all dogs pee" -- the tab lets you move the dog's leg to show it peeing on a tree.

All this learning is tiring, though! By 6 pm on several nights this week, Micah cruised over to his crib to look for his pacifier, by which I decided that he was ready for bed. A few minutes of snuggling and our special song, and I put him in the crib and he happily curls up and settles down within moments.

Life is good and babyhood is fleeting!

Autumn sights and sounds

2010-10-04T19:46:00.004-06:00

It has been a lovely, warm fall here and we're trying to take full advantage after August's heat and September's day care/diaper mess. Micah continues to be a gentle, loving, easygoing little boy, as long as he gets enough sleep and lots of food! Within the last 2 weeks, he went from no walking to some tentative steps (only when one of us holds at least one hand); it is only a matter of days before he forgets to plop down to the ground and crawl when he wants to go somewhere.

We're also enjoying Micah's newly learned playfulness. He's starting to find it funny when Adam "wrestles" with him, and will also play peek-a-boo type games. Thankfully, mischieviousness has not yet arrived, though I have no doubt it will, knowing that he's Adam's progeny. A few days ago, he discovered this box full of packing foam, and amused himself for a long time in it.

And words! Words, words, words, a new one appearing every few days. I've noticed that when he gets a new word, a very similar sounding word often appears a few days later. This weekend, it was "apple" (pronounced "ah-puh") one day, then the next, when he heard a low-flying plane overhead, "ah-pun." Sooo cute! He definitely meant different words, and when we were outside at a harvest festival, he turned his head upwards every time a plane flew overhead. I don't remember specifically using that word, but his new daycare has a retired DC-9 in the playground (they use it for a kindergarden classroom), so perhaps he learned it there.

This weekend we went to a little pioneer pumpkin festival held near our house. Micah enjoyed seeing the farm animals up close, though he didn't seem to associate the giane working horses with one of his other recent words, "neigh." (I made up a little song that goes "The duck says 'quack,' and the cow says 'moo,' and the horse says 'neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh" -- even before I get to "quack," he starts singing the neighs.)

He sure looks like a little boy in this picture and not a baby anymore....(do you hear mommy crying just a little?)

Hot Date

2010-09-25T21:25:00.003-06:00

After spending some time at dinner tonight talking to a single neighbor about the ups and downs of the (online) dating world, I had to realize that today I had one of the nicest dates I've had in a long time. While Adam was off fishing, Micah and I went to our local farmer's market, where we sampled lots of goodies that daddy probably wouldn't have approved of (pie and waffles at 10 AM -- yum!), followed by a quick prenap shopping trip at America's largest clothing recycling shop (AKA the Goodwill). Then while Micah napped, i enjoyed a lovely salad on the deck and caught up on back issues of Oprah without anyone making fun of me.... After Micah woke up and had some lunch, we met my sister and her family at a free outdoor folk concert. It was a little hot for sitting in the full sun, but lots of fun. Stranger anxiety is not a problem for my little guy.... he was all over the strangers sitting around us, including climbing across the crotch of one fellow, then peering into the guy's sunglasses to see his reflection and tugging at his cap. Micah also enjoyed kissing this enormous dog, who luckily was very goodnatured.

Review for CNS Stores Coming Soon

2010-09-22T18:49:00.000-06:00

Following in the footsteps of the Mikes, I am excited to announce an upcoming review for CSN Stores. With a toddler in the house, I anticipate that we'll be needing some new furniture, perhaps even a coffee table. I plan on spending hours looking over the 200 different websites that make up CSN Stores. The products at CSN Stores are endless! Disclosure: I will be receiving an item of my choice valued at $35 or less so that I may conduct an honest review of CSN Stores products and service. You might remember that the Mikes reviewed a very cute play mat for one of the girl's bedrooms.

I'm Faklempt!

2010-09-17T14:40:00.002-06:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

Milestones and Frustrations

2010-09-16T22:33:00.004-06:00

It has been an interesting, challenging, tiring, and thrilling time here in the Kingdom of Micah. (Stick with me while I vent and I'll reward you with some photos at the end!) We transitioned to a new daycare a few weeks ago -- a big center that comes highly rated by our local quality agency. He's one of the youngest children in his new room -- everyone else is walking and a bit more verbal -- and in the new room (and all toddler rooms) they only offer one nap a day compared to the two and sometimes 3 he was taking at the old daycare. So we probably bit off a bit more than Micah could handle, though, by also trying to transition him to cow's milk from formula at the same time. He had no problem at all getting used to new caregivers and a new room; there was no sign of separation anxiety at all.

BUT.... and this is a big but, he's had some, er, intestinal adjustments ever since all these transitions started.... and each time it happens, daycare calls us to take him home. They have a very very strict policy for sick kids and draw the line at one diarrhea incident, after which he can't return for at least 24 hours. So far they've sent him home I think 3 or 4 times, despite my obtaining notes from our doctor stating that the symptoms in question are being caused by the milk transition, not a contagious disease. I am so lucky to have a job that understands my need to be flexible for my family, and I certainly enjoy spending time with Micah, but after having a very healthy and playful kid home with me for 6 or so days while I'm paying VERY good money to the daycare, I was NOT feeling the love for this new daycare, which is supposed to be inculcating my kid with a values-based education, but was not making me feel kindly towards them.
Today was a nice milestone where he was at the daycare for two continuous days, but only because I took him in late so that he could get the messy business done at home instead of at school. Gross for me, but the rest of the day was phone-call free, at least until they called to tell me that he'd lost his balance and hit his forehead.

No, that does not mean Micah is walking. He stands up well and is balancing without holding onto things for longer and longer stretches, can lower himself down with the grace of a yogi, and has an amazing amount of proprioseption, but is showing no interest at all in walking. That's OK with me -- even though he's heavy, I'm still enjoying carrying him on my hip like a little gorilla baby. Daddy is eager for him to walk, but daddy hasn't the faintest idea of how much trouble that will bring. Even without walking, he's getting into more and more trouble: climbing up onto surfaces not meant to bear his weight, doing pull-ups to reach something on top of our TV cabinet, opening kitchen cabinets to explore what's in. It is going to be a busy time here as we scramble to stay ahead of him!

And below, the promised reward photos from our recent vacation to Massachusetts!

Unimpressed as we take Micah to the spot where we got married a million (I mean 3) years ago...

OK, not a Massachusetts phone..... a trip to our local JCC pool where we met up with a good friend and her newborn baby.

Cute pre-haircut photo that I staged to illustrate the Q page of Micah's ABC book. This is the only photo I had to stage for the purpose of the book!

Micah was not exactly the best company at our long-awaited vacation lobster dinner. Our staging this photo caused quite a few laughs at the surrounding tables.

Ooops I did it again

2010-09-05T22:35:00.004-06:00

Remember a few weeks ago when I said that Adam had told me that I was in charge of no haircuts? Well, unfortunately, I just couldn't leave well enough alone. Fresh off a frustrating week in which Micah was banned from daycare not once, but twice due to explosive bodily fluids caused by the transition to milk, I had a little extra time on my hands on Friday afternoon. So Micah and I headed back to Jack and Jill for a little trim. They still had his (adorable) photo on the wall from his last haircut, and I casually mentioned to the new stylist that the last cut had been just a tad too long, and I'd like it just a little shorter this time. Well, before I could realize what was happening, she had the electric clippers out and was sheering my little guy like a helpless lamb, leaving him with what can most generously be described as .......well, there's no generous way to describe it. It's a little 3rd Reich haircut. Waaaah! How's that for a bad attempt at irony, just as he starts off at a Jewish daycare. OK, I know it will grow back, but with a cut this short, it is going to take quite a long time.

And it might seem even longer than it actually is, due to a new development in our house: the arrival of whining. Remember when wine was a beverage you had with dinner, late into the evening? Well, lately we seen to have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Not sure why it has developed; I think he might be teething, and perhaps the aforementioned upset tummy isn't helping. Hope the little guy is feeling better soon; we miss our easygoing little guy.

And just so I don't sound ungrateful, I've been so excited this week by the miracle of speech starting to appear. So far we have the words "quack" and "duck" which are hard to tell apart, "hiya" and a little wave that goes with it, and now we also seem to have "gog" which means "frog." It is also so amusing to see new reactions to things. We have a book that has pop-up animals with big, hungry mouths that open up when you turn the page; I've shown it to him a dozen times or more, but this week when I showed it to him there was a little shiver of delighted fear with each turn of the page. He's on the verge of walking too, cruising with a bit more purpose, and realizing that he can reach things that were previously out of reach by climbing on things or stretching even further.

Anyone know where I can get a wig for a 1 year old?

Micah ABC book

2010-09-03T10:03:00.004-06:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

I had a lot of fun making this, because I got to use some of the crazier papers and realistic objects in my scrapbooking stash than I usually use (and some slightly girly colors, too, sigh.....) I'm nearly finished with Micah's first-year book, too (just waiting for a friend to give me some photos she took of his birthday party), and waiting for a really big sale at Shutterfly to print it!

For those interested in how-tos, I used an inexpensive program called Scrapbook Max. It does many of the same things that more expensive, difficult programs like Quark do, at a fraction of the cost (about $40) and effort. All of the "papers" and elements were downloaded for free (a great website that compiles a daily digest of freebies is http://www.craftcrave.com/; another one I used when I needed to find specific elements needed for this project (Quill, anyone?) was http://www.digiscrapdepot.com/.) You will need lots of room on your harddrive for these freebies, as it is addictive to download them! Fulfills all of my "hunter-gatherer" and bargain-hunting needs. Once you've downloaded stuff, you just drag it into your layout and re-size, re-color, and re-arrange to your heart's content (or until your baby wakes up from a nap!)

My little fantasy......

2010-08-20T07:26:00.005-06:00

Adam and I have this little fantasy idea that when Micah is 10 or 11, we'll take a year off and travel 'round the world together. Of course, we'll be quite ancient by then and perhaps not even up to it; and of course the demands of life might get in the way too. It is something fun to think about, but I know it may never actually happen. But lately, when I look at all the places in the world where my blog is being read, I expand my little fantasy to think that our trip around the world will involve stops to visit our surrogacy friends world-wide. Wouldn't that be fun? Well, this weekend, as part of our week-long trip to Boston, a little piece of my fantasy actually happened: we had a get-together at the home of The Mikes, and included Deenah and Mike, the A Distant Miracle folks Geoff and Sharon, and another couple who are just starting to consider surrogacy in India. It was quite fun meeting some of this little community of ours face-to-face, and comparing our experiences and our babies' development. Will post a few photos when I get home.
Micah's been a great traveller on this trip, happily going down to sleep in 3 different houses in the first three days. By the 4th day, he was crawling up the long stairway in the house we're staying at, going right to the laundryroom where his pack n' play was stationed, finding a paci under the bed, and settled down immediately. We've trucked him around town to show him off to many of our friends, and he's put up with long car rides and uncreative meals with mostly good humor (the expensive and long-awaited lobster shack dinner was another story, however; it was much too long of a day and we just didn't get to enjoy our lobster like we should have.) Lobster incident aside, the only other tough time was the flight: he was pretty inconsolable for 2.5 out of 3.5 hours. I thought the TV would distract him and that having his own seat would assure a long nap, but it didn't seem to work that way. Hoping that the evening flight back tomorrow is less memorable.
Some random things I'm loving about Micah at 13 months:
- the way he talks to himself, with high trills, gurgles, and other sounds that adults can't even imitate
- the way he'll hook his hand around the back of my arm when I'm holding him on my hip, like a little baby gorilla
- the fact that his first word was "uh-oh" followed by "quack-quack" and "duck"
- the way he lets out a little laugh when you put him down to a nap, like he's been looking forward to it for hours
- the way he'll try just about any food, and hasn't had allergic reactions to anything (not liking the fact that he's just as happy shoving dirt or sand in his mouth as any of the healthiest foods we've offered.... and we had a very sand-filled dirty diaper to prove that some of it is actually being swallowed.)
- the look of wonder in his eyes when I poke my head into the back seat and he realizes he's not alone in the car; also, his great interest in all animal sounds, particularly the lion's ROAR.

Thank you!

2010-08-04T21:16:00.002-06:00

Hi Everyone, Micah here!

I wanna thank everyone for all the birthday wishes, not to mention the comments on my eyes! I had a great time at my party, and mommy and daddy let me have a big ol' goopy cupcake.... I even tried to eat the paper wrapper! Mommy and Daddy even got into the action!

This week, I'm getting closer to standing all by myself, and when I decide to sit down again I can lower myself with no hands at all. I have very strong legs, if I do say so myself! I think I'll be walking in no time, and then, boy do I have some trouble in mind. I love music, and sway and bounce as soon as I hear music playing. I've also started laughing and giggling more and roughhousing. This morning, I even tried to do push-ups with Daddy!

My mommy said to tell everyone that having this great community has kept her going over the last year!

One

2010-07-27T09:30:00.004-06:00

One year ago tonight, we were up late in Mumbai, still adjusting to the time difference, still arguing about what our baby's middle name would be if he were a boy. Waiting for a phone call that didn't come until the next day, I stayed up late googling Indian names starting with a G while Adam slept. Gobi, Ganesh, and Ghandi did not make the cut; the next morning when we learned we had a baby boy, I slipped the original name we had chosen, Gabriel, into the middle name slot on his birth registry.

One year ago, we were blessed with the most extraordinary gift, Micah Gabriel. Every day he continues to amaze and delight us. The sound of his giggles, which are doled out sparingly, make us so happy. We'd do anything for them. The look in his eyes as he is trying to make sense of our words or actions is priceless, and his persistence as he learns new skills amazes us. This week has been sobering as we learned about serious health issues of a friend's two young children, and as we were stunned to hear that one of Adam's daycare classmates, born with serious health issues, had passed away. It made us realize that we can't take one moment of our son's healthy, happy path for granted.

This weekend we'll celebrate Micah's birthday, and our having made it through the first year of his life. It hasn't always been easy, and I've learned previously unknown strengths and skills (like how many things I can do with my non-dominant hand while holding a baby!) but I truly know that every minute has been worth it. We can't wait to see what's on his mind, what his dreams and talents are, and who we become as a result of being Micah's parents.

Justin Bieber is No More and Fun with Food, Part II

2010-07-18T09:13:00.005-06:00

So, in my last posting, some people (ahem, you know who you are, Lisa!) suggested that it might be time for Micah's first haircut. Even though the Justin Bieber look (see photo below) is very popular these days among the skateboard set, I've been agreeing with this idea for weeks. I had actually given Micah a little trim about a month ago, which his daddy told me was too much of a bowl haircut and that I was in charge of no haircuts from now on. So I've been patiently waiting for daddy to give him a haircut.

We misplaced the haircutting scissors and daddy got cold feet, so it was off to Jack and Jill Salon. A very cute place just for kids, with racecars and firetrucks for seats and lots of glittery hair accessories for your little princess. As you can see below, Micah was on his best behavior (definitely NOT the case when I tried to get near him with long pointy scissors!) and enjoyed looking at himself in the mirror.

And the result? We have an official big boy now! Daddy is threatening that sometime soon he wants Micah to have an all-over buzz cut, but he has the most gorgous hair, with beautiful copper highlights, why would you want to trim that all off? An argument that I think we'll continue to have for a while!

Adventures with food continued later in the day. We had a family party at a Chinese restaurant, and I brought along a nice container of cubed beets, sweet potatoes, and toful that Micah happily threw on the floor. I was assuming that he wasn't hungry, and passed him off to my sister, at the opposite end of a long table, to hold for a while.

"Why would they bring me to a Chinese restaurant and not feed me Chinese food?" he asked my sister. "I know!" she agreed, and promptly fed him some lo mein, which he ate by the fist-full! He had to have a little bath in the restaurante bathroom before we could bring him home!

This morning, the adventures in food continued: I was making pancakes with ricotta cheese in them, and was trying to cook while also holding Micah. He reached down and grabbed a big handful of ricotta cheese, which he enjoyed a lot. How are we going to teach this guy how to use a fork and spoon when it is so fun to squoosh food into his mouth with his hands?

However, there's one area where Micah still absolutely refuses to use his hands, and that's with drinking his milk. Occasionally he'll pick up a sippy cup on his own, but for love or money, we can't pursuade him to grip his own bottle of formula. I keep waiting for a burst of "I wanna do it myself, but he seems perfectly happy having someone else hold the cup/bottle for him. I know it is time to transition to a cup from the bottle, but I'm not sure if that will even solve the problem. With the amount of solid food he's eating, formula is definitely less interesting to him, but I know he needs to drink at least 24 oz/day and I think he drinks a bit more from the bottle. I'm also debating keeping him on formula for a few more weeks, even though most people are usually overjoyed to end that expense. We'll be travelling for a week in August, and it seems so much easier to travel with powdered formula rather than carrying around fresh milk on a hot summer day.

Whack-a-mole

2010-07-12T13:31:00.004-06:00

Can you read his shirt? It clearly spells out what we're in for: trouble!

Mmmmm, spaghetti and meat sauce!

Despite the fact that most of the meal ends up in his lap, and sometimes his hair, Micah's all about self-feeding now!

What an amazing 6 weeks in Micah's life. In early June, he was barely mobile, now he's crawing and exploring everything! His current favorite activity is pulling himself up and starting to cruise, although mostly he's pulling himself up, bobbing back down, and then pulling himself back up, over and over again like the old video game whack-a-mole. We can see the urge to climb isn't far away.... suddenly I'm looking around my house differently, seeing pieces of furniture as ladders; things that used to be set out of his reach are now clearly in his future....

Another big change over the last six weeks has been in the eating department. In early June, he was eating a nice, balanced diet of mushy foods neatly fed to him on a spoon. Now, he's all about self-feeding, and mushy foods are only good if he can pick it up with his fingers. We've introduced lots of new foods, including spaghetti and meat sauce, houmous, pieces of chicken, cantalope, and my favorite, tahini on toast topped with kale (trying to keep getting green veggies in him during this eat-with-the-hands stage is hard!) He is wild about cheerios, and if I need to bribe him to stay quietly in his playpen for half an hour, cheerios is my drug of choice.

Arm Wrestling an Octopus

2010-07-05T20:42:00.001-06:00

Micah hits the trails again! We were happiest when he was contained in his backpack.
One of the prettiest short hikes I've been on - White River National Forest, Colorado.

Rifle Falls State Park, CO

I guess this is right on developmental cue as we 'round the bases past 11 months and head straight for one year, but Micah officially became a handful this weekend, on our third camping trip of the season. Whereas only 3 weeks ago, we could leave him safely in "baby Alcatraz" in the camper, fenced in by cushions, on this trip we had to set up the pack-and-play in the camper because he's pulling up on everything in sight and the cushions were no longer enough protection. And only 3 weeks ago, we could put him down on the ground to play, on this trip he made a beeline each time to the rocks and dirt, which he would have happily shoved into his mouth by the fistful. What evolutionary sense does it make that human children act so against their own best interest as toddlers? When they are infants, they have all sorts of reflexes that protect them -- the "falling out of a tree and grabbing onto mama mammal's fur" is the one I best remember -- but as toddlers they go straight for the dangerous.

He had a bit of a cold this weekend (which he spread to me, and I've spread it to Adam), making the long weekend exhausting!!! There were lots of diaper and clothing changes, which have now become an ordeal akin to arm wrestling an octopus. I voilated lots of my own rules this weekend, including unbuckling him in his carseat to change his diaper (we were stuck in a huge, non-moving traffic jam on the highway for over an hour, and he had an explosive diaper) and letting him have his pacifier during the day rather than just at bedtime. I'm thinking that camping, while it will be a great family activity in a few years, is just a bit more trouble than it is worth right now!

Mmmmm, sand!

On the plus side, we saw some beautiful countryside, including a triple waterfall, limestone caves, and probably the prettiest 2 mile hike I've ever been on, through a winding valley with a stream curving through the bottom. But let's just say that mommy and daddy will be VERY happy to see our daycare center here on Tuesday morning!

Summertime

2010-07-01T08:36:00.003-06:00

We're keeping our cool!

Happy 4th of July to our US friends and family; Happy Canada Day to our friends up North!

We are in trouble now!

2010-06-24T23:08:00.003-06:00

Pulling himself up in his crib, confusing catfood with cherrios, making a beeline for the baby monitor that resides on our bedroom floor, turning cups upside down to see what happens, grabbing mommy's keys at every opportunity, chasing the cats (they're much faster), getting stuck under desks and cabinets, and in general squirming, wiggling, and always in motion. Eleven months. Gosh he's cute. We are so screwed!

Flashback

2010-06-19T08:09:00.001-06:00

I'm so excited to see this year's "crop" of surrogacy babies. Perhaps I need to get a real life!

Just the other night, Adam and I were sitting to plan the rest of our summer, and I remembered that this time last year, we were anxiously finishing our packing and planning for our trip to pick up our baby. In fact, I think just about this time last year, I was having my last minute panic, writing tigerlilycat so that she could re-assure me that this pregnancy in India thing wasn't just a huge hoax and that there really would be a baby arriving for us.

Fast forward one year, and we have a real, live, growing, and changing little boy in our lives, splashing in the cat's water dish, crawling after us whenever we leave him in one room and walk into another. "This is our life for the next few years," Adam bemoaned, after Micah upended a glass of water onto the floor for the fifth time in two days. Yes, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

No photos today because Micah's got the snotties, with big puffy eyes and grumpy attitude to match.....poor little boy.

i miss my boys!

2010-06-12T20:05:00.002-06:00

I'm away from my boys this week and adam says I'm missing the best week ever, as micah has gone from crawling 2 or 3 steps to circling our whole house. I miss him a lot and know he'll be very happy to see me too. This trip is busy and bittersweet, and I can tell that it isn't going to be as easy to leave home again.

May I now present.....

2010-06-08T20:10:00.004-06:00

our own 'lil devil, spawn of Sacks!

This weekend, we graduated to Camping 2.0, featuring our new (17 year old) pop-up camper. Camping 2.0 started off a bit rough, with a long drive to a site I had reserved in advance that ended up being just a parking lot next to a busy road. Luckily, we drove a few more miles down the road and found this lovely (but expensive) site, but not before we also spent another hour stuck on a one-way road from which we couldn't turn around. But, as this photo shows, the story has a happy ending:
Here is camping Alcatraz; Micah's half of the camper. Notice how carefully he's surrounded by cushions to keep him from falling through the cracks? He had so much fun crawling around this big padded space that it was harder than usual to get him to go to sleep, but once asleep he was out until 7 am!
Here's a full view of the camper, with Micah enjoying the little square of astroturf that the previous owners nicely gave us.

And here was his favorite discovery of the weekend:

DIRT!!!!!
Oooh, did he get dirty. Guess I better get used to that with a little boy!

Micah goes camping!

2010-06-03T11:09:00.002-06:00

Micah took his first camping trip last weekend to an area in southern Colorado. It was very beautiful, with plenty of lodgepole pine trees, strange gloopy rock formations (including one called Lizard Rock that looked like a giant stegasaurus), and a fast-flowing river nearby. We went with several friends with toddlers, and I for one was glad that Micah wasn't walking yet because I would have been more worried about him wandering off and falling in the river.

This was taken at about 6 am. It was quite cold at night, but got very warm by mid-afternoon -- probably a 50 degree range in temperatures.

Here we are trying to stay warm in our tent. We only stayed one night, because it was so cold and Micah whimpered on and off all night. Not sure if it was because he was cold or teething (tooth #6 is on its way.) We were glad we didn't stay the second night, because apparently it was much colder; our friends reported that their baby wipes froze! After this trip, we purchased a pop-up camper that has real mattresses (so long, air mattress!!) and most importantly, a heater! We're looking forward to many more camping trips this summer!

In other exciting news, there are a lot of new developments this week in Micah-land, although some of them are ones he's come to a bit later than other babies. He's finally crawling for real -- no more going backwards instead of forwards -- and can now seek us out when we put him down and walk away. Watch out, world!!!! He's now figured out how to get from lying down to sitting, and has started thinking about pulling himself up in his crib (but can't quite get there yet.) Another development we're excited about is his ability to hold his own bottle. I know he could do it before, he was just choosing not to. So I finally gave him some tough love and put the bottle down within his reach when he was hungry. How easily babies learn things when they are motivated!
On a final note, a lot of babies are due in India during the next several weeks. I'm overjoyed for each and every one of you, and just want to remind you to document, document, document your tiny bundle. It is hard to imagine, but in just 6 months, you won't be able to remember how tiny they were in their first days, or remember the experience clearly because of the baby brain fog that covers you for a few months. May all the babies wait for their parents to arrive in India, and may all the surrogates have easy deliveries.

10 months/3 years

2010-05-27T21:49:00.004-06:00

Yesterday was our 3 year anniversary and coincidentally Micah's 10 month marker... we always take a few minutes to reflect on our gorgous wedding, and discuss the highs and lows of life since we married. This year, of course, we could definitely agree: our proudest accomplishment was our baby boy.
Our anniversary present to each other is going to be a used pop-up camper. We love camping, but Colorado nights are cold in the mountains, so sleeping on the ground isn't that fun. We picture lots of fun family trips ahead, and a camper will make it easier for us to pick up and go.

One slightly worrisome development yesterday: I sent Micah to school with a little egg yolk omlet. He'd had egg yolks once before, hardboiled and mixed with something green, like kale. The reaction he had then was projectile puking, which I chalked up to the weird combination. But no, today there was also projectile puking, so it appears he may be allergic to egg yolks. Hope this isn't the symptom of some bigger allergy issues. He hasn't had any reaction to anything else he's eaten, though of course the choices have been fairly limited. Will have to schedule an appointment to get tested because he's starting to be much more interested in table food and it will be more difficult to control what he eats.

Moving Pieces

2010-05-24T21:04:00.001-06:00

Vrooom, vroom! Not sure I'm ready for Micah to drive if he can't keep his feet off the steering wheel!

There's a lot of moving going on around me right now -- literally. My parents, who live nearby, are moving to a smaller place next month, and one of my sisters, currently in Philadelphia, is moving here with her family at the end of June. Oh, and in 3 weeks, I'm selling the condo I owned for 17 years in a town that I still love but no longer live in. I'm also in the midst of planning camping trips, business trips, and vacations, but I'm feeling like I'm not doing enough to help my family in all their moving. I know my life isn't that complicated -- life with twins or even two kids seems infinitely more difficult -- but it is a lot to juggle, along with the important work of making friends and connections in our new home town, maintaining our relationship, starting a new business, and making sure that our child's learning and growth continues.

And of course, there's a lot more movement going on at home with Micah. While he isn't quite crawling, he's spinning, pushing himself backwards on his tummy, and reaching for things slightly out of reach and somehow getting them. Now we really have to watch out! The other day, at a birthday party, I put him down on the grass near where some other kids were playing; when I came back a few minutes later, somehow a bagel piece was in mouth. This just after Adam and I had discussed holding off from introducing wheat products for a while longer.

Note the hand in mouth? That's a piece of bagel that some bigger kid dropped!

Later that day, at another party, an older woman scooped Micah up and exclaimed with glee, "Ooooh, you're just so moist and meaty!" Can you see why?

A Man's Reach Should Exceed His Grasp - pix added

2010-05-15T19:26:00.008-06:00

Clapping with one hand open.
Just out of reach.....

Stopping to chat with a neighbor this morning as Micah and I took a stroll around the neighborhood, she asked the inevitable, "What's new?"

With a 9 1/2 month old, everything's new, every single day. Feet, for example, are endlessly fascinating, and every day we see a new type of kick or a new angle for Micah to study them. Hands, too, continue to be new and exciting. On Sunday, Micah had taught himself to clap his fists together; by Monday morning he was imitating a real clap with one hand open and the other still in a fist.

Each time Micah masters a new skill, we celebrate it, but immediately start fretting that he'll never reach the next one. It wasn't so long ago that we lay him on his back on his play mat, worrying that he just wasn't motivated to reach for the swinging toys. He's long since rushed from that stage to sitting up and reaching for them; and just this week, I noticed that he's no longer ignoring the toys that are out of his reach, but trying to puzzle out how to get ahold of them, despite not being fully mobile yet. He reaches forward to the limits of his arm length, not quite there, but trying over and over until he rocks himself forward a bit.

Ah, I realize, the poet was right. A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?

All human behavior is predicated on trying to obtain things that are very slightly (or maybe more than slightly) outside of our grasp. That's what motivates us to set our alarms for earlier than we'd like to wake up, to go to work when we'd rather play, to make outselves pretty.

And then I realize that Micah's been doing this all along, even when we think he's not really trying. While we've been worrying that he'll never crawl, he's actually been getting ready each morning, when we find him in his crib on his hands and knees, rocking back and forth; while we've been worrying that he'll never hold his own bottle or feed himself, he's been training us to know the cry that indicates he's hungry. Children come here with their little alien eyes and helpless little bodies, and yet they're the one's teaching us what it means to be human. Time for me to figure out what seems just beyond my reach and start trying to figure out how to get it.

the other mothers

2010-05-09T15:13:00.005-06:00

Note to self: self-made portraits are too close-up for a 40-something mother!

My baby is playing happily by himself at my feet right now, giving me a moment to reflect and thank the women who made it possible for me to be a mother.

To our beautiful surrogate and egg donor:
I hope that your lives have been easier because of your remarkable gift to us.

I hope that you've been able to achieve what you hoped for when you agreed to do this.

I hope that you don't regret your decision, or miss the child you helped to create and carry.

I hope you know that I will always remind Micah on mother's day to be thankful to you.

Growth updates and status of non-biological parent

2010-05-03T21:16:00.003-06:00

Look, ma, no hands! (But daddy's right there to catch me!)

Our little nature boy, tiptoeing (or in this case, bouncing!) through the tulips.

At the moment, we seem to have a baby who is taking after dear old dad. At his 9 month visit, he's charted at the 83rd percentile for length (29 3/8"), 15th percentile for weight (18 lbs, 6 oz), and 1st percentile for head circumference. He's sleeping really hard these days, probably in reaction to all the teeth that are starting to poke out, and eating a great variety of food, including broccoli, kale, tofu, an oatmeal/barley/lentil mixture, and some other strange and healthy foods like ground flax seeds, brewer's yeast, and omega 3 oil. Trying to keep his neurological development going strong!

He's definitely moving a lot more than he was even a week ago, though he hasn't even begun thinking about trying to pull up or "cruise" (thank goodness!). All in all, as I said to the doctor the other day, we've hit the baby jackpot!

Wanted to address one issue that has come up on a few blogs recently, the status of the non-biological parent. When we started investigating surrogacy in India, all the information we got said that the intended mother's name would be on the birth certificate and therefore on the baby's citizenship. This was no longer the case by the time we arrived in India to pick up Micah, at least for US citizens. The way it worked for us was that my name appeared on the Indian birth certificate, but as , part of our process of getting Micah's US citizenship, we had to submit documentation proving that he was biologically related to a US citizen. The US embassy issues another birth certificate along with the passport, and this one only showed Adam's name as parent. Mother was left blank. (Disclosure, things may have changed since August 2009; I haven't been paying that much attention, but I doubt they've gotten more lenient.)

Just as in the case of a gay couple, to have my rights and responsibilities as a parent recognized, I'll need to do what's called a "second parent adoption;" this process is managed by your state of residence. I haven't done it yet because in our state, it becomes easiest to do this once the child has been living with you for a year, so I'm waiting to get started until that time. I haven't had anyone yet question my parental status, although I think once your child is in the school system this would be more of an issue, and of course, if there were any legal dispute between you and your spouse it would be an issue too. So for right now, I'm trying to stay on Adam's good side!

If both parents are biologically related to the child, be sure to bring ALL your fertility records with you to India when you pick up the baby, so you can document what you went through and potentially avoid having to do a DNA test. Our experience was that our clinic in India wasn't able to provide clinical documentation proving that Adam was the father, so we had to do a DNA test anyway.

Precious Boy

2010-05-01T09:43:00.002-06:00

I brought Micah home from daycare in this adorable outfit the other day (we were getting snow flurries on April 28!). Adam and I were heading out for our first "date night" in ages, thanks to my mother, but Adam couldn't stop snuggling with Micah and saying "precious precious boy, I don't want to leave you for one minute!" So adorable I had to snap a picture.

Today's exciting news: Locomotion has arrived, albeit unwillingly. Micah was lying on the living room rug, unhappy about being on his tummy, and in trying to get up, he pushed himself backwards onto the hardwood floor. From there on, every push sent him sliding on his tummy backwards until he hit a wall. He was not happy at all about that!

In other developments, a new front tooth has started to poke out, bringing the tooth count to three. So far teething hasn't been bad.... one weekend of crabbiness (unfortunately the weekend we were travelling) and some scattered wakings in the night. Let's hope the easy transition to teeth continues!

Micah's 9 month check-up is coming up next week. He's certainly heavy, and I expect he'll still be at the mid-points for height and weight

Well, someone is up from a nap that was way too short! Gotta go visit Daddy, who is working this morning at the local Farmer's market. His new business was featured in the local glossy mag, 5280:

http://www.5280.com/issues/2010/1005/feature.php?pageID=2206

April Highlights

2010-04-20T15:03:00.005-06:00

Micah and cousins Jacob and Matthew. You can definitely see the family resembolence!

Adam's favorite activity in the whole wide world -- horsing around with his nephews -- just got even better with a little Micah on top.

How can someone be so adorable and so messy at the same time???

Another month speeding by; can't believe Micah's nearly 9 months old already! This month featured a trip to Sacramento to visit Adam's sister and her family. As you can see in the top picture, the cousins had a great time together, and we couldn't get over how much Micah and his cousins look alike. Travelling with Micah wasn't quite as easy as it was just three months ago. The pressure adjustment in the airplane bothered him a little more, and he had a harder time sleeping on our laps (and was definitely much heavier for us to hold for 2 hours!) Still, we really have no business in the world complaining. He slept well and was very adaptable to all the strange situations we put him in (hello, washing machine as changing table and bathtub in the sink!)

Upon arriving back at our home airport, I said goodbye to Adam and Micah and boarded another plane in the opposite direction, to Boston for a business trip. There were a few tears at the airport -- from me for being away from my boys for a week, and from Adam knowing that he was on his own for a week! We both managed well. Micah and daddy had a good time together, and daycare took a lot of the pressure off Adam. I had a wonderful time in Boston, hanging out with friends, eating out, and staying up too late. It is all too easy for me to slip into my "carefree single girl" mode while in Boston and almost forget I have a baby and husband at home! One duty I did have in Boston was to clean out my condo basement in preparation for its sale in June. That was a very sad day, since I've owned the condo for 17 years and lived there for 14. I had to keep reminding myself that sometimes we have to open our hands and let go of things, even if they are very precious or served a useful purpose at one point, so that new and wonderful things can come into our lives.

Coming back home provided some contrast to that sadness, though. The look in Micah's eyes when he saw me back again, and the sweet hugs and cuddles I got, made up for it. (Of course, when I took him to daycare the next day and saw him give his caregivers the same hugs, I was a bit disappointed, but am so happy that he feels so secure there and has a great relationship with the caregivers.)

Next up on our agenda is starting to plan our summer schedule of camping trips, travel, house projects, and anniversary celebration. And before you know it, we'll be planning a birthday party, too!

Whew!

2010-04-07T14:17:00.003-06:00

It has been a busy few weeks here, with Passover, a visit from my sister and her family, and now getting ready to take Micah to meet his cousins on Adam's side of the family in California. Micah's been a gem -- he even sang and danced to the 4 questions at our Passover seder (with Grandma acting as a ventrolquist!) He managed to sit on grandma's lap for the whole first part of the seder, even if he does look bored in this photo:

on Easter, we were invited to some friends' house, and discovered that there is definitely a boy-gene that controls interest in cars. Micah just immediately knew what to do with our friends' son's car collection! Just in the last week or two, he's started a hilarious new thing where he suddenly vibrates with excitement or emotion. It starts out like a little Indian head wiggle, and then passes through his entire body. Maybe he's doing the snake dance that his daddy does so well? It is fun when he's excited, but when he's hungry or needing attention and does it, it is heart-rending.

And here are some photos of the latest skills we're working on with Micah: Crawling and walking. Don't think we're making much progress on crawling; we had to put him in the crawling position to take this picture, and he didn't like it much. Standing is much better, and he's started to try to bounce when he's standing, so we have to be on our guard to make sure we're holding him up, otherwise he'd just land with a big kersplat.

Well, that's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, the men are good-looking, and of course all the children are above average.

The Object of My Affection

2010-03-26T09:51:00.000-06:00

Hi Folks,

Its me, Micah writing. Now that I'm a whole 8 months old, I have an awful lot to say. And Mommy isn't going to like to hear this, but I have a new love in my life, and his name is Sushi. Sushi is a grey snowshoe siamese cat. I think we have another cat around this place named Miso, but honestly, he avoids me so I'm not really sure.

Daddy says that Miso and Sushi are only good as accessories for our couch, and that they don't serve any real cat-like function like sitting on human laps, but Sushi and I have a special relationship. When Mommy feeds me, he sits on the back of the armchair and purrs, or rubs up against her feet. He likes to be in the same room as me whatever I'm doing. Once, I even managed to grab ahold of his tail! I think he's trying to figure out what kind of creature I am. I'm short, like him, but I smell kinda like those big creatures that feed him (sometimes I don't smell that good, I'll admit.)

Mommy and Daddy have one ace up their sleeve in trying to get me to crawl (yeah, right): Sushi. I really, really, really want to go pet him. He'd better watch out when I can start running!

In other news, for the last few weeks I've been really into my feet. I keep telling Mommy: Feet are the new hands!

I'm squealing and laughing more than I used too, and it makes Mommy and Daddy laugh to hear me. I love to be held up like an airplane, and I let Daddy use me to build up his triceps by dipping me onto his head. It's fun when he throws me up in the air, too, but I'm not sure if he'll keep doing it after I threw up a lot of milk on him.... silly Daddy, he'll never learn not to roughhouse with me after I've eaten!

This week coming up, my cousins Logan and Natasha are coming to visit. I think it will be a lot of fun to play with them -- last time they were here, I was really sleepy most of the time.

In the last week, we had two big snowstorms here and I got to stay home from school one day. Daddy did too, so we had a fun time bugging Mommy while she was trying to work. It was too windy and wet for me to go play in the snow, the way we did last weekend when we all went snowshoeing. I slept through the entire hike, but Daddy managed to take this great family picture of us out together. Even though Mommy doesn't like snowshoeing, she's smiling here. Afterwards, we went out for Mexican food and Mommy and Daddy both got food poisoning. They should have brought their own food like I did!

Oh, well, I better go practice the 4 questions to get ready for Passover. I may be the youngest, but I have a lot to say!

Researcher looking for willing subjects

2010-03-22T13:52:00.003-06:00

I'm posting this on behalf of a cultural anthropologist who is doing her thesis research on surrogacy in India. She's looking for current or intended parents who'd be interested in telling her about their experiences. I spoke with her last week, and enjoyed pouring out "the whole story" to her (hey, who doesn't like talking about themselves for an hour!). Info about her research and her contact info is below if you have the time and inclination to talk to her:

From Daisy Deomampo: I am a Ph.D. Candidate in Cultural Anthropology at the City University of New York in New York City and a Visiting Research Scholar at the Tata Institute of Social Sciences in Mumbai during 2010. I am currently in Mumbai conducting research for my dissertation on the topic of medical travel to India for assisted reproductive technologies. I would be very grateful for speak with people who are thinking about or have already traveled to India for IVF, egg donation and/or surrogacy. Please be assured that this research is not media-related and is intended for academic publication only. My project has been approved by the ethical review board at my university and is supported by grants from public and private foundations. All interviews are completely confidential, therefore no names or any identifying information will be used in any writing related to this research.If you are interested in speaking with me please contact me at daisy.deomampo (at) gmail.com.

A long night

2010-03-21T11:02:00.002-06:00

It's a beatiful Sunday morning, but my two boys are both sleeping, so I'm inside too. Adam and I both got food poisoning yesterday from a shared plate of super-delux nachos at a divy Mexican restaurant, so it was a long night. I think we switched beds several times (me in guest room, him on couch; me in master bedroom, him on couch; both of us in master bedroom; he moving to guest room). I think we took turns hurling all night too.

Unfortunately Micah, who was sleeping really soundly from 7 pm until 6:30 am until about a month ago, has hit a streak where he now is crying every hour or so from 2 until 6. Anyone have thoughts on a solution to this? Is this just a growth spurt thing? I've been trying to let him cry it out, but eventually one of us will cave in and put the pacifier back in his mouth, which puts him back to sleep immediately. This morning I caved in and actually tried to feed him at 5, but he wasn't really hungry. I put the pacifier back in and he slept until 6:45. I know he needs to learn to fall back to sleep on his own, but it is hard to listen to the crying at 3 am when the pacifier will buy another hour or two of uninterrupted sleep.

The Golden Age of Babies

2010-03-15T14:43:00.004-06:00

Self portrait with naked baby....

There has been cuteness every day of the last 8 months, but I have to say that at 7 to 8 months, it really ramps up into high gear. There is something especially delicious about this age. When their chubby fingers grab you, you know it is because they want to hold onto you; when they reach out for something, you can see they are trying to learn its properties. It's a moment of growth, and also the moment when you begin to notice that they're not going to be a baby forever, so you want to hold it tight and treasure it. I was in a secondhand shop yesterday looking at baby clothing, and realized sadly that all of the clothing that looked cute to me would be too small for him....he's definitely no longer an infant anymore.

New favorite toy... the ol' crocodile xylaphone!

Already an experienced hiker, Micah's now too cool to hang out with us!

But not too cool for Grandma! How they love each other!

Practicing for his upcoming centerfold shoot, Micah tries out his new bathtub. He loved having room to kick, but it made Mommy nervous.

Slow down!!!

2010-03-10T14:52:00.003-07:00

Is it just me, or is everything moving too fast! My skills as our family's CTO, CFO, and Chief Cook and Bottle Washer are being tested against my abilty to juggle like a maniac. I'm starting to realize what getting old in a fast-paced world means.We took a step off the merry-go-round this weekend to take a little family excusion to Garden of the Gods, a park just about an hour away from us. Was sure fun to try out Micah's newest mode of transportation, his official hiking backpack.

Gorgous scenery, and it was nice to get outside and unplugged for a little while.

Expecially moving too fast for my taste is my little boy's growth. Seems like he's a different person every single day. Here's a few of my favorite shots from March. The first, Naked Tummy Time, occurred on the day that Micah got some catch-up vaccinations. Doubt you'll see a centerfold model with bandaids and socks in any other cheesecake publication....

Look who rolled himself over during his nap! He hasn't done it while we're watching, but last night, after we put him to bed, Adam and I peeked into his room and watched him spin, rotate, and generally create a little tornado in his crib. It was hysterical.... and showed us the mayham that is soon to come in our lives. Putting up the sides of his crib is high on my to-do list for the weekend.

Gratitude, part 2

2010-03-04T16:37:00.001-07:00

It is 5:30 am and, in my dreams I begin to hear the sounds of you waking for the day, reminding me that you are an entire little human being with your own wants and needs. Through my foggy brain I try to rouse myself to get myself going for the day.

I try to remember, but it is hard: I am so grateful for this.

And later in the morning, when I walk into your daycare center, you're greeted by happy, loving caretakers. I hand you over to them so that I can continue to do the work that I'm good at and helps our family. In my morning rush, I should take the time to remember, but sometimes forget: I am so grateful for this.

And in the afternoon, after I've had a chance to exercise or run errands, I pick you up at daycare and you smile and give me a nuzzle. My mind is rushing ahead to dinner and chores that need to get done, so I don't always get a chance to say: I am so grateful for this.

Four years ago, I didn't know that I'd have a family and home. Didn't know I'd ever snuggle with my own little baby. Didn't know that I'd get to witness firsthand the beautiful unfolding of newborn to baby to little boy.

I am so grateful for this.

And after everyone is well-fed, and you've had a bath, and I'm singing you your lulliby, sometimes I'm still too frazzled from my day to think: I am so grateful for this.

But sometimes, I sneak back into your room, after you've fallen asleep, to check on you and see your sweet sleeping face and hear your peaceful breathing. And I always remember: I am so grateful for this.

Stack overload at Line 423

2010-03-01T15:09:00.003-07:00

This is me today. Micah was up all night crying for no reason we could identify (turns out that he has some pretty bad diaper rash, which we didn't notice in the dark). As the CTO (chief technology officer) at our house, I've been dealing with new phone, internet, and satillite TV service that was installed last week. My cell phone beeps and blinks and me and I don't know how to get it to stop. I spent a good chunk of the weekend trying to de-bug my personal laptop that I use for all my scrapbooking stuff. And this morning, in my bleery sleepless state, my work computer and phone connection crashed in the middle of a deadline-driven meeting with my bos and her boss. In the midst of all this, Adam keeps quadruple-decduple checking about whether I want to go ahead with the purchase of a used car we saw last week.

I think I'd feel better if I had some time to exercise, but that seems to have gone by the wayside, along with my waistline. But that's a story for another time.

(To give credit where credit is due: image came from rachelmallino.wordpress.com/.../)

Postscript: car purchased, daddy cooked dinner, baby has replenished the calories he didn't get a daycare and is sleeping comfortably, and I'm off to bed at 9:22. Tomorrow is another day...

February

2010-02-21T21:03:00.002-07:00

Well, its been a long slow cold month, considering it isn't even over. Adam's been working a crazy schedule that requires waking up at 3:30 am and sometime not getting home unil 7 pm, and I just learned today that his schedule for 5 weeks after spring break is going to be even worse, leaving me to do both the daycare drop-off and pick-up. I've been nursing a sore back for the last month, too, making it painful for me to lift this increasingly heavy little boy, and especially gett in and out of the car. But things are looking up; looks like Micah will be walking in no time:

It was snowing today; a nice light snow that would have made for lovely cross-country skiing, if my back had been up for it. At least we got out for a walk. We haven't really taken Micah outside much this winter. He's had a cough on and off for the last few weeks, and quite honestly it seemed easier to just hang out with him inside. But it was fun to take him out; he's such a serious guy! Just looked around, taking in the new sites, the snowflakes, the cheek-numbing temperature. Here's my new favorite pic of both my boys.

Last thursday was "crazy hair" day for the older kids at Micah's daycare, but when he woke up, he had crazy hair and begged me to let him go to school that way. Can't argue with a guy sporting a fauxhalk, can I???

One more fauxhalk picture.

I resisted the urge to take more "messy face from new foods" photo, but we're all slowly getting the hang of solid foods. Micah's repetoire now includes: sweet potatoes, squash, carrots, brocolli, green beans, peas, avocado, yogurt, bananas, and peaches (not in season so I'm dicing up frozen organic peaches which aren't very sweet.) Next up this week: silken tofu and then potatoes. So far he doesn't not like anything; just seems to take it all in stride. One thing he really seems to love: water! We live in a very dry climate, but it is easy to forget that babies need water as much as grown-ups do.

Sign language for water: thumb holds down pinkie and first three fingers held up to the lips. Today I had a fun sign language surprise. I've been doing "all done" when feeding Micah (hands held up chest level and waved to show front and back), and today when I did that, he held his own hands up and looked at them. Probably means nothing, but it was a nice positive reinforcement for me to remember to keep using signs.

A big fat sloppy kiss

2010-02-14T09:57:00.002-07:00

Well, I've experienced a few of those in my lifetime, but not quite like the one I got from Micah the other day. Because his cheeks are so damn yummy, I'm always fake-nibbling and kissing them.... and now that Micah has discovered the concept of putting things in his mouth, he's reciprocating! I'm not entirely sure he's doing it on purpose, but even if he does have another cold, I let him plant a wet one right on my cheek. (Putting mommy's nose in your mouth, while also cute, is less acceptable.)

I just realized we haven't taken any photos in February.....time to get out the camera! If for no other reason than the fact that I have a new haircut and new sparkly earings from my sweetie, and our little baby is turning into a little boy faster than you can say "Passage to India."

Can I just say....

2010-02-03T20:49:00.002-07:00

..... you guys (my regular readers, and you know who you are!) rock my world. How wonderful to be able to take something so deeply personal, something that I labored over in private for months and months, share it with all of you, and get so much lovely feedback.... all in a matter of hours! I always appreciate when people leave me comments, but I wanted to tell you that this was especially welcomed.
Jon, to answer your question, the album was created using a surprisingly powerful but easy-to-use program called Scrapbook Max, and all of the "elements" (paper, do-dads, picture frames, etc.) were downloaded for free (yes, you will definitely need an extra hard drive if you get into this hobby seriously, and after all the technical delays I experienced over the last two days, you will also need a computer with some serious horsepower. I intend to treat myself to one, along with some photo editing software.....Hey, if you can't show yourself the love on Valentine's day, when can you?) If anyone has more questions, feel free to e-mail me at stephaniekb@mindspring.com.)

Micah's Conception/Birth Story Book

2010-02-03T15:36:00.003-07:00

The post below includes the scrapbook I finally finished to tell Micah the story of his conception and birth in India. I am not exagerating when I say that the scrapbook took longer than the pregnancy! It took me a while to get the right tone and design for it. When I started, we didn't know his gender, so I tried to pick a gender-neutral color theme, and not have it look tooo kitchy-kitchy. This is my first big all-digital project, and I'm pretty proud of it (but need to bet a new computer before I do something this big again!)

The text in the scrapbook will be too small for you to read, but much of it was pulled from entries to this blog.

Thanks, Mom, for teaching me to scrapbook before the word even existed!

Baby Masala Final

2010-02-03T15:30:00.001-07:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

Half

2010-01-31T20:37:00.004-07:00

Adam accuses me of being a "glass half empty" person (OK, he might be justified at least half of the time) but this was a half-way point that we could agree to celebrate. Our family had a little party, complete with half-cake (thanks Aunt Jackie!) but 100% of the love and attention to the guest of honor. Micah enjoyed hanging out with cousins Rachel and Sarah, playing on Grandma Judy's exercaucer which is different from the one we have at home. He looked at everyone and everything as if it were completely new, which, if your little mind is growing and changing every day, I guess it is.

Even though he didn't have any of the cake or ice cream (thank goodness since it was coffee!), the afternoon was a bit overstimulating, and the smiling, happy baby in this picture dissolved into an inconsolable mess just two hours later. Looks like we need to move bedtime from 7 to 6:30.....

TThe other half of this sign is waiting for his official full birthday! Isn't grandma creative?

Some stats from Micah's 6-month check-up: He's currently 16.4 lbs, in the 28th percentile for weight, and 26 and a bit inches long, in the 67th percentile for length. He's still in the 1st percentile for head circumference, but the doctor says it is fine because he continues to follow the same growth trajectory as other babies, just under the line. He survived getting 4 shots at once, but that was only part of what he needed to get -- we've decided to split the shots up, so he'll need to go back for some follow-up shots over the next few weeks.

This little outfit looked so cute on him -- brown and blue bring out his gorgous eyes and reddish brown hair. The sentiments on it become truer every day -- he is his mommy's little treasure (and his daddy's buddy.) We both love kissing his chubby cheeks, and making him giggle by nuzzling his neck. He's standing with more confidence every day, still showing no interest whatsoever in rolling or crawling. He loves his bouncer, and we thought that he'd happily bounce all day if we let him.... until we left him alone for a while, and came back to find this sight:

Gotta nap when the urge strikes you!

You can't smell the soup when your head is in the pot

2010-01-26T09:32:00.005-07:00

What the hell's going on here? I thought we had a pretty good system going on!

Come on daddy, let me try!

Warning: this is a post with lots of mention of bodily fluids. The squeemish or TMI-sensitive reader should wait for the next installment!!!

Regular readers of this blog have pointed out that it has been a long time since my last post. Actually, it has felt like a lot longer than 2 weeks to me. Micah kindly shared his cold with his mommy and daddy, and ours took a sneezy, snotty form rather than the chest cold that Micah had. None of us slept a full night through for about a week, and then, just as the cold was beginning to subside, I had a muscle spasm in my back and was in unable-to-sleep pain for a week. No, I didn't hurt it doing anything dramatic; the doctor suspected that all the sneezing and carrying of a 17-pound baby may have primed me for it. Now I'm better, but Micah seems to have some sort of "eye cold" with goopy eyes. (Is there such a thing as an eye cold? Adam keeps using that term. It isn't pinkeye, just goop.)

He's having a hard time with his late afternoon nap at daycare, so comes home cranky and sometimes too cranky to eat. We've been getting him to bed a bit earlier, but he has been waking up at odd hours of the early morning lately -- not sure if it is hunger, getting used to sleeping without being swaddled, or the beginning of teething. We have a lot to discuss with the doctor at his 6-month visit later this week.

Nearing the 6-month point has led us to the introduction of solid foods. We started about 2 weeks ago with avocado (so-so), then moved to sweet potato (much more popular), tried peas (the consistency of my first batch wasn't good; I've reformatted and we'll try again), and rice cereal yesterday morning. Oh me oh my did we have an explosion of bodily fluids. He was very unhappy with the rice cereal. It is pretty tasteless, and a less smooth consistency than his first foods. Trying to feed him despite his protests, I caused a gag reflex that brought up about 3 ounces of formula and watery eyes. Then we discovered that he was probably fussy because he was sitting in a hugely messy, "up the back" diaper. Oh my. Today we tried the rice cereal again but mixed it with some sweet potato. Still not very interested, but I think some of it went in his mouth as opposed to the bib. I'm defrosting a bottle of the breast milk that we purchased from the milk bank and I'm going to try mixing that with the rice cereal tonight, on the theory that it is a bit sweeter than formula. If this third attempt at rice cereal doesn't work (note from later on: a total failure this time, no way, no how, no thank you ma'am), think we'll move on to barley or oats, carrots, and then bananas.

I don't know how we didn't connnect this, but he developed a rash on his chest a few days ago, and I suddenly today wondered if it was related to the sweet potato. Solid food seems fraught with so many complexities and differing opinions. What are allergens, what are chocking hazards, what texture is appropriate for what age. The advice available in books seems contradictory and very culturally based (for example, no mention of any seasonings or spices, which we feel are important so that we don't have a bland-food baby; I'm sure they must introduce seasonings in other cultures to babies) It feels frustratingly slow to only be able to introduce one new food every 4 days -- he'll be in college before we've introduced a healthy range of foods.

In other baby-related developments, we're shopping for a new Micah-mobile, which is also a big project (Note to self: 6 hours of car shopping with a baby are 5 too many). We really need 2 new cars because Adam is driving a 10 year old car with 185,000 miles and I'm driving a 15 year old car with 115,000 miles, but we can only afford to do one right now, so it will have to be an all-purpose, gas-guzzling, SUV that can take us into the mountains for camping and winter fun. A fun, fuel-efficient city car for Mommy will have to wait another year or so.....

I leave you with two "aw sweet" photos from last week as a reward for making it through all that icky stuff!

Shabbat dinner with mommy's homemade challah. Wait 'til Micah can eat that!

Couldn't resist one last bath picture. If only he didn't insist on looking at his toes, the water level wouldn't be quite so high!

Firsts

2010-01-12T12:40:00.002-07:00

Micah is suffering from his first bad cold. It isn't that bad -- just a hacking cough and stuffy nose, but it led to a few other firsts:

first time being cranky at bedtime;
first time being clingy and inconsolable;
first time not having 4 full bottles during the day and consequently first time (in a few months) of needing a 3 am feeding;
first time mommy gets to juggle sick kid who can't go to daycare and trying to work.

Sadly, this has also coincided with first real tears. It is much harder to ignore a crying child with real glistening tears in his eyes!

Daddy and Grandma kept asking me to call the doctor yesterday. I knew there the only prescription was going to be a humidifier and elevating the head of his bed, but I humored them and called. Nope, no miracle cough medicine has been approved for babies. Poor little guy just has to tough it out. We're a bit sleepless and cranky too, Micah, and I think you gave mommy some germs 'cause my throat hurts today.

One happier first over the weekend: Micah has been trying to take charge of his own feedings lately, trying to control when his bottle is in his mouth and when it isn't, and this weekend he was able to hold the bottle on his own for short periods. He can't quite control the angle of the bottle, but I'm cheering any step toward self-feeding. We still haven't started him on "solid" foods yet; that may come this weekend depending on how he feels. Daddy is really reluctant to start, while Grandma's been pushing for it since day 1.

We have no sign of rolling over or crawling yet, but he's loving standing up in his bouncy seat, in the activity saucer, and supported by mommy or daddy.

Hashkivenu

2010-01-04T19:41:00.004-07:00

By far bedtime is becoming the sweetest hour of the day. Our current routine starts with a late afternoon nap, sometimes lasting as late as 6:15. Occassionally I have to wake Micah up at this time for a "dream feed," but he usually wakes himself up and I give him his last bottle. For a while, I was making an enriched bottle (an extra half-scoop of formula) but he no longer seems to need that to get through the night. After the bottle, he has a little playtime (sometimes while mommy and daddy eat dinner) and then it is off to the spa! We're still enjoying our Spa Baby tub, which allows him to submurge up to his neck in a nice, womblike atmosphere. He certainly seems to enjoy it, and doesn't even mind getting his hair washed.

The Spa Baby tub. Micah loves it, though Mommy often puts just a bit too much water in it.

One, two, three, up! and Micah is wrapped up in a big fluffy towel on the sink counter. Tonight for the first time I introduced tooth-brushing .... or should I say, gum-brushing. He gagged a little, but I think the strawberry-flavored toothpaste was a hit. The shivering baby then gets hugged to mamma's chest for the trip to the bedroom, where the space heater has warmed things up.

Cousins Olivia and Ben help with Micah's bath, December 2009

He gets a little massage coupled with a lesson in body parts before being diapered and tucked into the fleece baby bag. I was under the impression that little boys took every opportunity to squirt their parents when naked, but we haven't had any instances of this in several months. I'm trying to prepare myself not to react when he does it next time, since I think he might start thinking it is funny or clever to do if he gets a reaction.

More massage, please!

Now the nice, sweet-smelling baby is ready for winding down. We read a book -- my favorite is The Giant Jam Sandwich -- or recently a poem -- tonight it was Wadsworth's Daffodil poem. He seems to really like poetry, paying more attention than if I show him a picture book or read a prose story. And then I sing Micah his "bedtime song" which are two prayers I've strung together: Hashkivenu (Lay over me a canopy of peace) and the Debbie Friedman version of the Shema in Hebrew and then with my made- up English interpretation: "God please protect me while I am sleeping, keep me safe and warm. Send all of your angels to watch over me, while I'm in your arms." It doesn't quite rhyme, but it works with the tune.

Aunt Andrea helps read a bedtime story.

Micah's started to look at me with a really happy look of recognition when I start singing these tunes; I think he likes knowing that sleepytime is coming. Speaking of sleepytime, he definitely recognizes the baby sign for "go to sleep" too. His loving gaze during these bedtime rituals keeps them from getting old, and it is becoming our special time together, as Daddy is often starting to doze by 7 pm too! And then the moment of pure bliss, when he gets swaddled in his favorite blanket with his soothies pacifier, and the knowledge that we won't hear a peep out of him until sometime between 5:30 and 7 am!

May Your Baby Dreams Come True in 2010!

2009-12-30T19:35:00.003-07:00

5 Month Pix

2009-12-17T19:31:00.002-07:00

New photo of Micah to go along with our 5-month post. Photo is taken by Micah's honorary auntie/girlfriend Elana, and in it he's modeling a cute new outfit from dear friend Lore, who is coming to visit in January. He's bundled up because we made an unexpected shopping outing. As you can see, he's still rocking his baby blues.... we'll see if it lasts! In the meantime, this outfit is perfect for complimenting them.

By popular demand, a 5-month pix of Micah taken by his honorary aunty/girlfriend Elana.

Can it be? 5 months already!

2009-12-14T21:05:00.002-07:00

Adam says that this has been the longest 5 months of his life, but I think that's because he's wishing Micah would hurry up and DO more. Me, I'm enjoying watching each little change, and am in no hurry. As a friend who was chasing after his 2 year old recently commented, "mobility and object permanence are overrated."

I think we may have actually hit the beginning of understanding object permanence just within the last few days, as Micah has now started to complain when left alone for too long, only to turn off the tears as soon as we turn our attention back to him.

Also just in the last two days, his hands have found each other. For some reason, this absolutely slays me when I see his little fingers interlaced together as if he's solving Fermat's last theorem. I have to get a photo of those little hands. Speaking of hands, we're starting baby sign language now, so if you see the two idiots loudly talking about MILK while making cow-milking motions, that will be us. Hopefully my commitment to baby signing will last longer than my commitment to cloth diapers did! And speaking of milk, we're seeing a lot of it go in and quite a lot of it drool, dribble, and project itself forcefully out. I knew when you had a baby that you do lots of laundry, but I never really realized that it was the adult clothing that needed so much washing! Now I see why!

Everything is now getting put in the mouth, with an special fondness for mommy's hands during bathtime. Of course, as soon as the hands started going in the mouth, he picked up a little cold, and has been coughing quite a lot and sleeping a bit more than usual. We won't complain about the latter! Micah remains a good sleeper, calming down as soon as we've finished swaddling him and going to sleep without a complaint. He continues to sleep from about 7:30 pm to 4:30 or 5 am, and can sometimes be pursuaded to go back to sleep until 6. He wakes up alert and interested in seeing what's going to happen, but is ready for a nap from 8-10 and then again around 12. He is still taking a late afternoon nap as well, around 4:30 or so, although sometimes that gets interrupted by day care pick-up. His naps at day care get a little more interrupted by the other kids, but overall he's doing great there.

At his last check-up, Micah was over 14 pounds, and is in the 55th percentile for length, the 35th percentile for weight, and the 1st percentile for head circumference! The doctor says that as long as his head is growing and his development is normal that it isn't something we should worry aobut -- someone has to be in the 1st percentile.... Micah is already working very hard at standing up. He enjoyes being held up so that he can practice putting weight on his legs, and I'd almost guess that he'll stand before he crawls. He's got great neck strength and just started to get the hang of his bouncy swing.

Light one little candle....

2009-12-12T11:06:00.004-07:00

Baby's first Chanukkah is not quite as momentous for Jews as baby's first Christmas is for Christians. But, we had a fun and festive holiday, thanks to a visit from Aunt Andrea, Uncle Steven, and cousins Olivia and Ben. The whole michpocha were over, and I think we had 6 menorahs lit. There were sweet potato latkes, regular latkes, vegetable stew, a roast chicken, and homemade challah. Since the food theme of chanukkah using fried food to commemorate the miracle of lamp oil that remained lit for 8 days when there was only enough oil for one day, we thought that we'd fuse a bit of India into our family traditions by making hanukkah pakoras. In a bit of supreme irony, we didn't have enough oil to make them! We'll have to try again next year, when Micah might actually be able to eat them! Thanks to a wonderful website I found of recipes from India's jewish community, we'll be trying to integrate Indian food into many of our Jewish holidays (hey, I might even use it as an excuse to eat rice during Passover!)

First night of chanukkah....
Cousin Olivia modeling her rock-star look.
Adam starts a new holiday tradition and demonstrates a bad habit for cousin Ben -- the whipped cream squirt
Micah models his new chanukah yamulke, made on the spot by Great aunt Jackie.
Helping mommy open up a present.

While mommy's away...

2009-12-04T14:38:00.002-07:00

On my first trip to Boston since BB (Before Baby). I felt like it was important to go... to see my co-workers face-to-face for the first time in 6 months, to reconnect with friends, and to talk to a real estate agent about selling my Cambridge pad (boo hoo!!!). I am missing my little guy so much (and his daddy, too!) but it is wonderful to know that he's in the good hands of his grandparents and daddy (and starting tomorrow, his Aunt Andrea, too!) I'll be home early Sunday morning and it will be fun to see how much he's changed in 5 days, which sounds funny to say but at this stage it is true.

In case I wasn't feeling guilty enough about leaving, I went to a play with friends the other night and it turned out that it was kind of a contemporary Alice-in-Wonderland story about a mother running away from her family of two little boys for 20 years. I was definitely a little uncomfortable through the whole play, and kept hoping she was going to wake up and find that the whole surreal adventure she had was a dream. But no, in the last scene she had become a psychiatrist practicing in Alaska under a new name and her (now adult) son came for an appointment to get some sleeping pills because it was the time of year when his mother disappeared!

Yes, Micah, I'll be back on Sunday, I promise.

Seriously, as much as I've enjoyed the uninterrupted sleep (and yes, I really have enjoyed it!) this trip was important for me to remember a bit more of who I am in Boston so I can try to bring a bit of that person back to Denver with me. I like who I am here so much more than Denver -- a city girl who is out and about on the town, independent, experimental, with a huge network of old friends, a congregation I fit into perfectly, and a town and state that I love to my very bones. I just don't know how to bring her to Denver, where I have a house in the borning suburbs, no connection to the landscape, and a job that doesn't even require me to get out of my pajamas in the morning.

Of course most of my conversations here have been showing off pictures of my beautiful baby. I feel very lucky I'm somehow managed to have it all -- to live in both Boston and Denver, to have new friends but keep the old; to be a city girl and a suburban mom at the same time. So it goes, and so I'll happily go back to being Denver Stephanie on Sunday.

But I sure will enjoy two more nights of sleep first!!!!

Micah @ 4 months

2009-11-19T13:55:00.005-07:00

Dear Micah,
Maybe its from hanging out with the older babies at daycare, but you've changed so much this month! Of most importance to mommy and daddy is the fact that you're now on a nice, 4-hour schedule during the day, and sleeping 11 or 12 hours at night. For a while, you were going to sleep at 6 pm and waking up at 3 am for a feeding, but after a week or so Mommy caught on to you and now you have a nap from 5-6 and then she wakes you up for one last feeding at 7 so you sleep until 6 am, sometimes without waking up at all. Daddy likes this arrangement better, too, because for a while, he wasn't getting home until 6:30 pm, so he wasn't getting to see you in the evenings. You still like to be swaddled very tightly at night, and get upset if the covers get loose.

During the day, you've become, in the words of your daycare supervisor, "a charmer," smiling and ready to engage everyone you see. You're very observant, and seem to take your job of soaking new things in very seriously. At home, you like to sit on our laps and watch our mouths move, trying to figure out how to get yours to do the same, having long conversations with us that consist of nothing but vowel sounds. When we stick out our tongue at you, you do it back. Recently you discovered that you got a laugh out of mommy by splashing her with the bath water, and you started to try to laugh. You're also starting to get the hang of holding things in your hand, although really, you don't understand the point since everything you want is brought to you. You love stretching when you wake up, but still get mighty mad when we make you do tummy time.

In the looks department, you're starting to get rolly polly thighs and chubby feet. In the last month, you've lost most of the full head of hair that you had at birth, except for your long bangs and a lock of hair over your ears; the rest of your head is mostly fuzz, giving you the look of a balding Chasid. You have a big bald patch in back, of course, which daddy worries is going to be permanent. While I'm pretty certain it will grow in, our non-invasive ear correction seems to have been for naught.

You had your first major boo-boo this month when another baby in daycare crawled underneath a small table and tiped it over on your forehead. Luckily this only caused a goose egg on your forehead that didn't seem to phase you too much. We're looking forward to your 4-month check-up next week to learn how well you're growing.

Adorable even when you're cranky!

Love, Mommy

Postscript on Genes

2009-11-14T08:30:00.002-07:00

A year or so ago, there was a NY Times article about a several families who all had children from the same sperm donor and who tracked each other down. While they were curious to meet him (but I don't think he felt the same), they were just as curious to meet each other, to learn about the traits their children shared and commiserate a bit (I think I remember that several of the children had similar medical issues.)

When we chose a donor, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out if I would be able to locate any other children that our donor contributed to. We saw photos of two children who were born through our ED; however, they are Indian and apparently their parents intend to keep the facts of their birth a secret. Since we're leaning toward only having one baby, it would be really nice to have a connection with a half-sibling or two or three. However, as our pregnancy went on, I realized that these siblings would be located around the globe, so it might not be very useful for our child to know that he had half-siblings in Australia. But given how fast and easy global communications are, and since my blog seems to have a global reach, I'll just put this out there: if you used an ED from Mumbai named Neha, could you drop me a note at stephaniekb@mindspring.com? Maybe we'll just decide to put the information in our back pockets and not do anything about it for 5 years, but I owe it to Micah to at least ask the question.

Meditation on Genes

2009-11-11T23:29:00.000-07:00

There's a lot of online discussion in other blogs about different surrogacy programs, but there's been less discussion of the issues of using donor material. This is a very real issue for many starting the surrogacy process. On the Chai Baby blog (http://havingababyinindia.blogspot.com/) Charliecat posted an excellent discussion about the dramatic fall-off in fertility for women in their late 30's and early 40's, and about her decision to use an ED. I started to write a reply to her post, but realized that I have more-than-post-it-sized feelings about having had to use an ED. I hope my thoughts are useful to any couple facing the decision of using donor material.

A fertility doctor at one of the World's Greatest Hospitals quickly dashed my hopes of being able to bear or provide the genes for a baby. It was like pulling a band-aid off a wound, painful but quick. In retrospect, I'm glad he saved our energy, emotions, and wallet from going through a lot of procedures that had little chance for success, though at the time I certainly had to go through a process of mourning for not being able to bear a child myself. But at the time (about 4 or 5 years ago), I didn't know about the option for surrogacy overseas, and knowing that would certainly have helped some, but not all, of the pain.

My desire to have a baby was way stronger than my desire to carry on my genes, anyway. We considered using a family member as an ED, but she was nearing 40 as we started the process, and the agency we were in discussions with at the time discouraged us from using her. Frankly, this was a little bit of a relief, since I felt like I'd be putting her through a lot of discomfort and inconvenience by making her give herself shots and leave her family for a week or so to go to India.

The biggest part of using an Indian ED was uncomfortable for us was the lack of any medical or personality information being made available to us. We could only assume that some screening had been done by the agency (although we had little details of that.) Given the lack of information, we made our decision solely on the basis of the donor's looks and a gut feeling. She looked very energetic, warm, upbeat, and very pretty. There was something about her face that reminded me of my grandmother's family, and that helped my decision.

At the time, we didn't realize that there were other agencies in India that could provide more detailed information about their donors. Although so far our child is perfectly healthy, I regret accepting the agency's offerings without trying to find one that could provide more information on their donors. I recently filled out some medical forms at the pediatrician's office, and felt terrible when I had to enter "unknown" next to every line of maternal history. I know Micah faces a lifetime of answering these types of questions, and hope that it doesn't cause him too much pain.

I also wish that there was better language for his situation; something to differentiate between "his mother's (my) side of the family" and "his maternal genetics." If anyone has any linguistic suggestions for how to talk about that, I'd love to hear them; saying "your egg donor" sounds so sci-fi. I wonder if Micah will one day want to go find his "real" mother and be disappointed that he can't.

The option of using a Caucasian ED was introduced a bit too late for us to consider, although it did play a role in our last-minute hesitations about going forward with our Plan A. Would we have done it if we had known about it in time? We might have considered because it would have provided peace of mind in having more medical information and more information about our child's potential personality traits and intellect, and because my husband had a picture in his mind of having a blue-eyed redheaded baby like his mother's side of the family. But there are no guarantees when you're playing with genetics -- even a PhD could produce an incurious child, and even the most physicially beautiful woman could produce a baby that looks like her ugly uncle. When it comes down to it, though, cost was a factor. I feel really lucky that one thing we didn't have to worry about was our child being more or less accepted by family or our communities based on looks.

What we learned when we met Micah for the first time is that genes are really random. We ended up with a baby who shares many characteristics with his dad. And the traits he inherited from the donor -- his thick head of dark brown hair, olive skin, and face shape -- make him look he could come from my side of the family. I didn't think I would care about having a baby that doesn't look like me, and I'm proud of Micah's unique story, but I admit that I feel some relief that we'll have the opportunity to share it when we choose to, and not because we're forced to by curious questions from strangers.
Do I feel any different raising a child that's not genetically related to me? I don't think so. Certainly it doesn't matter one bit in the middle of the night when I wake up to feed him, or when I hold him in my arms and marvel at how much I love him. I do feel a bit of a pang when his father points out traits that they share, but I already can see that Micah is temperamentally different from his father. I intend to make sure that Micah learns ethics, ways of thinking about the world, and and interests from me. I know we'll share an emotional connection. And unlike his father, who has some expectation of having commonalities with Micah and may be disappointed when they aren't the same, I have no such illusions and that may be very healthy.

Now that we've found the answer to the question that we'd wondered about for over a year -- what will our baby look like -- the most interesting question to me is "what kind of personality does our baby have?" And in this regard, we're very much like every other new parent. As it was so well put by a character in my favorite TV series, Mad Men, in speaking about a brand new baby, "We don't know who he is yet or what he's going to be -- and that's a wonderful thing."

We've become "Those People"

2009-11-08T19:44:00.004-07:00

You know the ones -- the people who have a baby and suddenly can't leave their house after 6 pm. The ones who can't go shopping unless the other half of the couple is at home with the baby. The ones who haven't seen a movie or been out to a restaurant together in months. You know the ones... they are incredibly boring and bored.

That's us. But I'm not complaining.

Micah's a great sleeper. As soon as he starts acting cranky, we know it is time for a nap, and as soon as we put him down, he goes to sleep with very little fuss. Except for the recent bouts of projectile vomit (brought on because his baby blues are bigger than his tiny tummy) he's about as easy a guy as you could want. At night, he's going down to sleep between 6 and 7, and usually only wakes once at 2:30 or 3 for a feeding. In return, I think we're giving him what he needs most, the continuity and safety of sleep in his own bed, with quiet and darkness. But, it is making us a little cranky as we are people who are used to being on the go!

When I'm awake at 2:30 at night to feed him, I try to remember through my grogginess that this time is so fleeting, and that he'll be a big boy on the go himself so very soon. I look at my gorgous, cuddly boy (already he looks like a little boy, not a baby!) and can't get over how lucky we got. We took a big roll of the dice and, as Adam wrote me on a card on our wedding day, "I think we are winning."

Halloween Fun

2009-11-01T11:36:00.005-07:00

Well, Micah wasn't that excited by Halloween this year, but lots of fun was had anyway!

I'm one of those people who would never be caught dead in a holiday-themed outfit, but somehow on a baby, it is absolutely adorable! Thanks to my dear friend Mary Clair for this one!

Micah's first Halloween party!

Getting lots of attention from his cousins Sidney (r), Hannah (middle), and friend.

We had a freak October snowstorm this week in Denver. I skiied 3 miles right from our front doorstep!

He smiles with his whole body

2009-10-23T17:20:00.005-06:00

Micah started daycare last week, which was a bit sad and (I'll admit) a bit of a relief to have an hour or two after work so I can run an errand or get to the gym. The first week was challenging for him because he has to get used to sleeping and eating with more distraction around him, just as he's starting to be much more aware of his surroundings. He definately didn't do as much eating or sleeping during the day as he would have at home, and unfortunately the fact made itself evident at night -- he had been sleeping for an 8 hour stretch, from 8 pm to 4 am, but this week, he woke up a few times at 1 as well. He's such a good sleeper, though, that he goes right back to sleep. That, combined with needing to get him to daycare a few days before 7 am when I start work left mommy and daddy a bit zonked. Daddy also started a new work schedule last week, and has two days a week where he works 6 am - 6 pm, so if you see a family looking like zombies in the next few weeks, it might not be a Halloween costume. (OK, Adam is actually obsessed with zombies anyway, but Micah has picked out a different costume..... photos to come soon.)
Although we're not going to the fanciest day care on the block, I've been pretty pleased with them so far. The staff spend plenty of time holding Micah and really seem to enjoy being with him. His daily report card on Thursday noted "I like to see him smile. He smiles with his whole body." I did get my first experience with The Call that every parent dreads; a mid-day "please pick up your child, he's sick" call. Turns out that he had spit up several times in the first 3 hours of the day. He wasn't really that sick, so it wasn't a big rush to get him, but Adam had left me without a car that morning, so it was stressful trying to figure out how to get him home (Grandma saved the day! Adam, time to install the car seat base in your car so I can keep my car at home!)
Another sad event last week was that my sister and her family, who had been here visiting for 9 days, left on Monday. We soooooo enjoyed having them here, and it was wonderful to see how "grown up" my 5 year old nephew Logan and his 3 year old sister Natasha were. They loooooved "Baby Micah" and were happy to help feed him his bottle. Baby Micah got out on the town a lot more often during their visit, making trips to the zoo, to Grandma's house, and to a great playground.

Micah's first trip to the zoo!

With Grandma, Grandpa, Logan, Natasha, and Aunt Victoria on our back porch.

Riding the locomotive at the zoo!

Where did you get those.....

2009-10-10T19:50:00.004-06:00

Where did you come from, baby dear?

Out of the everywhere, into the here.

Where did you get those eyes so blue?

Out of the sky as I fell through.

Every day we ask each other whether Micah's eyes are still blue. We expect they will change, but they are still incredibly blue at 10 weeks. Adam's are green with brown around the edges, and there was a lot of blue on his mother's side. From what I've read, eye color genetics is a lot more complicated than those simple diagrams we learned in elementary school led us to believe. I've never been one who was impressed by blue eyes -- never dated anyone with them, never imagined having children with them -- but I have to say that they are pretty striking on my lil' guy!
Not quite big enough for this toy, but daddy improvised a little, and Micah seemed to enjoy it. Mommy will breathe easier when he can hold his neck up just a big better.

This is Adam's interpretation of how to use the Baby Whisperer. I'm not sure that this is exactly what she had in mind......

Quote of the week: "I have a certain sense of style and I"m trying to accomplish something here" -- Adam.

TGFG (Thank Goodness For Grandma!)

2009-10-08T22:25:00.003-06:00

Grandma Judy has been a lifesaver for us -- helping out with babysitting on several workdays before our daycare starts, and giving us several nights out. She rightly pointed out that there aren't many pictures of her on the blog. So without further ado, I present this one. Not the most flattering picture in the world, but she had just slept over so that Adam and I could get a full night's sleep, so I think she looks pretty beautiful. I promise to post some better pictures next week, when family fotog extrordinaire, Aunt ("Hurricaine") Victoria blows into town with cousins Logan, Natasha, and Uncle Darren for a nice long visit.

In other Micah news, his 2 month visit was last week (he was actually 9 weeks old at that point.) He's catching up nicely in some of his growth, weighing in at nearly 11 pounds and 23 inches long, which puts him in the 37th percentile for weight and the 54th percentile for length. (Since these measurements were comparing him to babies who might have been full-term, I'm not sure how much attention to pay to them.) Unfortunately his head still lags behind his body -- his very unscientifically measured head was only in the 2nd percentile for size. We're a little concerned, but hey, somebody has to be in the second percentile. And later in the week, when Adam pulled out a photo of his sister Jaime and realized that Micah has exactly the same shape head, we stopped worrying so much. Jaime turned out pretty good, so we have no fears that Micah will too!

In other big news, Micah slept last night from 10:30 to 4:30! It would have been a bigger cause for celebration if Adam and I hadn't been waking up every half an hour wondering if the baby monitor was broken or if something had happened to him! Hopefully he'll recreate this stunt and give us a chance to get used to it!

A flutter of babies....

2009-09-30T15:26:00.004-06:00

Is there a collective noun for a group of miracle babies? There should be; I propose a "flutter". I was at a gathering a few days ago with lots of new parents, nearly all of whom had "miracle" babies. There were the parents of new twins, conceived with the help of IVF and donor eggs and carried by their mom; there was a two year old conceived with a boost of progesterone, whose parents are hoping for another miracle soon; there was the couple who found out about a potential adopteive baby being born to a distant cousin just days before her birth, and there was Micah, conceived and carried with a lot of help half-way around the world.

I'm not a huge believer in or lover of the idea of angels, but certainly looking at this squirming, cooing, crying bunch, but looking at this group -- like looking at People magazine's assortment of stars having babies in their 40's -- makes you realize the amazing variety of medical miracles we have available to us today. Working in the health care industry, I know they aren't just for babies, either -- so many technologies keep us alive that just were pipe dreams 10 years ago.

At this point in Micah's life, as we get absorbed in the daily routine of diapers, projectile vomit, and mid-night feedings, it is easy to forget what it took to get him; what we sacrificed and what we achieved, so I thought it was an appropriate moment to reflect in thanksgiving.

And on the Micah achievement front, he's gotten a good report at his 2-month (actually, 9 week) check-up! He looks huge to us, but is still small relative to his peers (although the measurements don't take into account that he was 3 weeks early gestationally, so we don't think much of them.) The important thing is that he's on an upward swing, and thriving like crazy! Next stop: more sleep please!!!

Is parenting everything you expected?

2009-09-24T23:28:00.000-06:00

I think this is a funny question..... how can anyone ever anticipate what parenting will be like until you're there? Nonetheless, even a funny question deserves an answer.....

It's exhausting....

It's heart-warming....

It is intellectually stimulating....

And it is a basket of fun!!

Astute observers may ask, what's with the tape on Micah's ear? It is a doctor-supervised, non-surgical intervention for the correction of protruding ears. Little tyke's cartilege isn't hardened up at birth, so can be re-molded a bit. Apparently this is quite common in other parts of the world, with mamas pinching noses and sticking ears to the head with chewing gum to fit a cultural norm. And while protruding ears are taken as a sign of good fortune in other parts of the world, they tend to draw nicknames like Mickey Mouse here, so we're trying to gently convince them back. Its just tape and wax, so we figure it can't hurt and he might thank us for it later.....

Dear Micah,

2009-09-20T11:19:00.003-06:00

Today is the start of the Jewish new year, and is as good a time as any to write you the first of what I hope will be annual letters. You will be two months old later this week, and your daddy and I love watching how each new day bring subtle changes in you. One day you can't focus on anything; the next it seems like you're staring intently at everything. One day you're barely finishing 2 ounces of formula; the next you're chugging down 7.

You're developing great strength in your neck and back, and even though you don't like "tummy time" very much, it seems like you'll probably be crawling and getting into trouble really soon. Just the other day you managed to turn yourself over from tummy to back several times while I was watching, but no one else has seen you do this yet. You've started to really enjoy your bath time, and you seem to already dislike having a dirty diaper. We've seen a few little crooked smiles, but can't wait to watch your face fill with joy and wonder at the world.

More importantly, Micah, in your brief two months, you're managing to change us. I didn't get to give birth to you the regular way, but even so, it is becoming true that, as Ghandi said, "the child gives birth to the mother." Learning to sacrifice for you (oh, sleep, I do miss you!!!) , to take care of you before taking care of my self, and to worry more about your future than my own are just a few of the lessons I've been learning. You're daddy and I haven't left the house as often as we used to, but we're getting enjoyment from holding you and wondering what you're going to be like when you're bigger; where you'll go and what you'll do.

We're trying so hard to be good parents to you, Micah -- to set a good foundation for you to sleep well, be healthy, use your body, and have fun. I promise to try not to compare you to anyone else and to be proud of you in everything you do. I am fully prepared to have all of my theories of how to raise you go out the window faster than the cloth diapers I was so excited about did (3 days), and to continue to learn from you how to be the best mother I can be.

With all my love,
Your Ima

Little Tree Frog Takes a Road Trip & I Earn My Second Bad Mommy Badge

2009-09-15T21:11:00.010-06:00

Ahhh, ignorance is bliss.
"Let's go away for the weekend!" she proposed.
"OK, where do you want to go -- someplace close?" he asked cautiously.
"Nah," she said, "Let's go to Pagosa Springs! There's a hot air balloon festival."
"Uhm, that's about 4 hours away," he cautioned.
"But I really really want to see hot air balloons. And there's lots to do there."
"Uhm, OK, but I think its a pretty far drive. And I can't leave town until after 4 pm" he gamely replied. "But its your birthday, so whatever you want."

Long story short, it was actually over 5 hours to get there. And we didn't hit the road until 5 pm, so it was after 10 when we got there. Happily, Micah slept most of the way there, until we arrived at our tiny, one-room cabin. I tried to feed him while we were driving, but the bumps in the car loaded him up with gas. Unhappily, that meant that he hadn't taken in enough calories for the day, and so was up every 2 hours during the night. Blearily, we figured we had missed the hot air balloons, launching from the center of town about 5 miles away, but we arrived to find them just taking off (or rather, going up and not going very far due to lack of wind currents.)

It really is beautiful country here, even if you can't walk to Harvard Square....

We enjoyed a hearty western breakfast, then set off on Micah's first hike -- just about 2 miles along a lovely stream bed. As we hiked, for some reason I started thinking about my high school chemistry teacher, who had filled most of the year with showing us old documentary films like "Paddle to the Sea." (The following year, in physics class, he showed the same films backwards. I guess that's why there haven't been any great chemists or physicists from my high school.) The hike ended -- just as it started to rain -- with a surprise I've never seen on a hiking trail: wild cows!

Micah seems to think the best scenery on the trail is looking at Adam!

After our hike, we headed back to town to try out the hot springs in the center of town. The sky was starting to look pretty overcast and it was getting cool, but Micah was bundled up in the car seat, so we went into the hot springs resort -- a collection of man-made pools set next to the river that flows through town. Absolutely stunning setting. Google Pagosa Springs if you want to see some photos. The sky was getting darker, though, and pretty soon it started to rain. Micah was underneath a beach umbrella, happily sleeping, although I had a hard time relaxing in the hot springs. Then we began to see lightening in the distance, getting closer and closer. Finally came a crash so loud and close that we all nearly jumped out of our bathing suits (what a sight that would have been) and the management shooed us into the shop. Seriously, if there's a Bad Mommy Girl Scouts organization, I think I've earned a merit badge for taking my baby to a hot springs during a lightening storm..... But he slept peacefully through it all. When the rain, thunder, and lightening passed, we had a truly glorious late afternoon bit of sunshine for a last few minutes of soaking.

We slept a wee bit more on Sat. night than the previous night, or maybe it was just the good mexican food and cold beer that we had after the hotsprings. On Sunday, we had a relaxed breakfast at a little tea room with an outside patio, then headed to another very short hike to see Treasure Falls. Then it was back in the car for the "scenic route" home on smaller roads -- which took quite a bit longer because we stopped several times to let Micah eat without the bumps of the car ride (and to get lost a little, but never mind.) All in all, it was a lovely weekend trip, and I'm really glad we saw that part of the state, although next time, I might just opt for a closer destination!

Babies are like cats...

2009-09-14T15:04:00.003-06:00

A funny IM exchange with a friend from work earlier this week:

Friend: So is motherhood everything you expected it to be?
Me: It is surprising how much you can love a little blob who is basically doing nothing but sleeping, eating, and pooping; and amazing at how you don't mind all those sacrifices. We spend lots of time just talking about what a great kid he is, how lucky we got....
Friend: I always think about how much I love my cat with such an irrational force I can't even imagine having a baby and what that would be like!
Me:
Yeah, it's actually a lot like that, except babies need more help wiping their @ss! It will be really cool once he starts reacting more to the outside world and us...
Friend:
haha I bet
Me:
My current cats aren't nearly as loving as my last cat was, so Micah is a lot more satisfying than my cats right now. When I'm feeding him and he's locking eyes with me, it is amazing....no one has ever looked at me like that!
Friend:
Haha
Not even Adam??

Me:
Alas, no....
He's never depended on me for his next meal!

"I resign....

2009-09-10T22:44:00.003-06:00

.... from my post as a future member of the House of Representatives. I don't want to be part of any club that would have Joe "You Lie" Wilson as a member......" (But thanks to Aunt Vicoria for the cool House of Representatives blankie, hat, and onesie, even if I never run for congressman!)

Aunt Jamie and More Anne Geddes

2009-09-09T09:52:00.003-06:00

Showing off my new turtle shoes (thanks Aunt Jackie!)

An Anne Geddes moment ..... how does she camophlage her hands?

We had an awesome visit from Adam's sister Jamie last weekend. She helped celebrate Adam's birthday and enjoyed every last moment with Micah. We can't wait until Micah gets to meet his cousins Jacob and Matthew (who, we just found out, shares the middle name Gabriel with Micah). Above, Aunt Jamie didn't want to put Micah down for a second!

At Washington Park, over looking the lake where Michah's great-grandparents got engaged!

Beautiful gardens at Wash Park.

A little Anne Geddes moment.

Bris Pix

2009-09-05T16:40:00.004-06:00

Before I get too far behind in posting pictures, here are a few from last week's bris. It was a very emotional ceremony!

This one is from after the ceremony; the mohel is demonstrating how a baby might balance on your arm like a tree frog would, as we explain why we call Micah our little tree frog -- and why we made our challah in the shape of a frog.

Mohel Ken Katz.

Grandpa Les meets Micah for the first time.

These were the two Jewish "men" who were the official witnesses to Micah's bris. The qualifications for witnesses were that they had to be shomer-shabbos observant and past the age of bar mitzvah. These guys must have had their bar mitzvah just before coming over for the bris!

Non bris photo, but fun to see Micah beginning to discover the world around him.

Getting Blue

2009-09-01T19:35:00.002-06:00

No, the title of this post does not refer to:

My impending return to work next week (actually, I'm looking forward to some intellectual stimulation)
The need to change Colorado's liquor laws to allow groceries to sell wine and full-strength beer, paving the way for Trader Joes to open shop in Colorado
Micah's post-circumcision mood or color of any related parts of his anatomy.

No, it refers to the changing color of the gifts we received this weekend, compared to the pre-baby gifts that were all lovely gender-neutral greens and yellows. If there was any doubt in my mind about whether this is a boy-child (doubts that weren't erased by the fire-hose use of his equipment or the bris itself) we definitely have a boy here, who now has lots of blue puppy dogs, blankets, and even a grey and black plaid hat with matching vest and plaid pants. So cute! Off-setting all this lovely blue are plenty of frog-related items (thanks girlfriend Elana!). I'll try to get some pix of Micah in all his new Blue gear posted tomorrow.

In the meantime, two funny incidents from this week:
1. I was driving Micah for a follow-up appointment to check on his healing. The doctor's office was about 20 minutes away. I was happily listening to NPR in the car (something I haven't done much of since we've been back) and had practically forgotten that I was now someone responsible for a baby when I got 2 blocks away from the doctor's office and I realized -- it is very quiet back there! Did I forget the baby at home? I haven't figured out how to fasten the baby-view mirror to my leather upholstery, so I wasn't able to glance backward and see him. I distinctly remembered wrestling his car seat into the car. Did something happen to him and I've been merrily driving along without realizing it? How am I going to explain that? I would have pulled into a parking lot to set my mind at ease, but we were only 2 blocks away. I was very relieved to open up the back seat and see Micah completely dozed-out in his "bucket."

2) My aunt was telling my mother a piece of Jewish lore she heard that when a person converts to Judiasm, they get a new Jewish soul. She then asked my mother how Micah was doing after the bris, to which my mother replied "He's complaining a little more." "Of course he's complaining more, he's Jewish now!" was the conclusion they reached.

Finally, an interesting observation. I ran into a neighbor who I haven't seen since before we left for India, and I was telling her a little about our experiences there. I realized that, like they say about childbirth, the details of all our travails to bring Micah home have become a little less painful. I haven't forgotten all of the hassle and frustration, but it certainly doesn't rankle as much. So, if you are waiting for your baby in India, take cheer in the fact that the baby pick-up pain doesn't last forever, even though it felt like it would at the time.

Covenant (Warning: grab a tissue...)

2009-08-29T23:55:00.005-06:00

Today is the day of Micah's bris, (ritual circumcision). Because Micah is not yet Jewish, being born of a non-Jewish mother, we had a little leway to schedule the bris at our convenience (as long as it was before he was two months old, according to the mohel, otherwise it would have to be done under anesthesia.) In talking about the bris to Adam's father, who came to meet his grandson, I got a little curious about what, exactly, the bible says about circumcision. I was amazed to see that our situation is addressed in Genesis:

And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every male
throughout your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money
of any foreigner, that is not of your seed. He that is born in your house,
and he that is bought with your money must be circumcised, and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.

Although I thing the original text was referring to slaves, not the children of surrogates, in mentioning he that is bought with money from a foreigner, it was pretty freaky to see our situation addressed here.

We had a wonderful, very special day. The house was filled with family and friends, good food, laughter, and adoring attention for Micah. As part of the ceremony, we spoke some words to Micah about his name, which I've included below for those of you who couldn't join us:

Stephanie:
Dear Micah, before we tell you about your name, we want to tell you about the miraculous way you came to be here today.

You see, your daddy and I wanted to have a little boy so much that we flew across the world and enlisted the support of two amazing women. The first was a very beautiful Muslim woman named Neha, who gave us a tiny bit of herself to help us create you. The second was a small, determined Hindu woman named Rajeshree who carried you in her womb for us. We don’t know a lot about these women, but we admire their strength and we hope that we have helped improve the lives of their
families while they helped us create you.

Adam:
Your mother,
Stephanie, also played a powerful role in your creation. Some women create a baby with their bodies, others use their brain to find a way to have a baby. Your mother’s persistence and her strong drive to have you kept us moving forward in the process of creating you. Some day, when you get bigger and ask me how babies are made, I am going to tell you that babies are made by e-mail, because you started out as a lot of e-mails flying back and forth between your mother’s computer and India.

Stephanie:
We fell in love with you when you were just a tiny handful of cells, far away across the world. The fact that you are here today, growing like crazy and looking just like your daddy, is absolutely amazing. We take such joy in watching you grow and change each day

Adam:
Now we want to tell you a little about your name. Your first name honors your grandma Myra, my mother. She was fiercely devoted to her family and loved her children unconditionally and without judgement. We hope that you grew up to view the world and its people with an open mind and open heart.

Stephanie:
The M in your name also reminds us of your great-aunt Margie, who was Grandma Judy’s sister. We hope you are inspired by Margie’s creativity that you see around our house, and share her traits of empathy and warmth.

Adam:
Your middle name, Gabriel, honors two women named Goldie. The first was my grandmother, your great-grandmother. She was a great lady endowed with an uncompromising sense of pride, a gentle spirit, and a resiliency for tough times. We hope that you walk with your head up high even when confronted with the biggest of obstacles On a side note… my grandmother made the best chopped liver in the world and I will be happily passing that recipe to you as well.

Stephanie:
The second Goldie was my great-aunt Goldie. She was a vivacious and outgoing woman who was full of life. We hope your life is filled with the same spirit of joy that Goldie had.

Adam;
And lastly, you will carry on my last name, Sacks. It is my father’s name and it carries the history of people that immigrated from Russia in 1905 They came to this country with big dreams and hopes of a better future. It is my final wish that you live your life – which could touch the 22nd century -- with even bigger dreams and even better future.

After we read this, I also read a poem I had written when Micah was just a few days old. Although this is a poem for Micah, I wrote it thinking that everyone needs to be reminded of how precious they were to their parents and families:

A poem for Micah

Never Forget

That there was a time when someone
Held your entire hiccuping body
In one hand, willing it to end

Anticipated your tiny darting tongue's
Search for milk and watched,
Ravenous with love
As you drained each drop

And studied how your whole face yawned

And never forget that your cheek was touched
-- oh so gently--with awe
And wonder at it softness

That no one had ever seen eyes
So intelligent
Hair
So silky
A mouth
So achingly bowed
Fingernails
Like rare seed pearls

And nevery forget that,
Bundled in flannel,
Your five pounds eleven ounces
Held boy, teenager, and man
Grandfather father son father grandfather
The last century and the next.

Micah was a trouper through the ceremony, crying only when he had to be naked, and enjoying the drops of Manashevtz wine he got to suck on afterwards. The baby Tylonal that he's one has him sleeping very comfortably, so I think he isn't in too much pain. Mommy and daddy are beat, though!

A pro's shots

2009-08-26T14:23:00.004-06:00

Fun at home

2009-08-26T10:09:00.003-06:00

Future babysitter Samantha R.

Sushi tries to figure out this strange new addition to the household -- not sure if he's more curious about the baby or the baby gym....

Adam steals one of Micah's recent gifts for himself

"Little tree frog" challah from Micah's first shabbat at home... this will be reprised at his bris.

This one is for Elana.... comparison shot of Micah vs. the giant zucchini. Micah wins on length, but I think the zucchini outweighed him.

Coming up later today.... I will post photos from today's professional photo session. For two non-photogenic people, we took some nice shots, and Micah was surprisingly wide awake and calm through the whole thing, even allowing us to keep him naked for half an hour, though the photographer's backdrop paid the price for that one.